Confession time: last week I bought the Greatest Hits CD of one Britney Spears. I know, I know. I don’t own any of her other albums, but I somehow felt that I needed to have this one. And in all honesty, it is really good. See, Britney falls into the category of singers whose music I hate to like. She joins Shania Twain on that list, whose CDs I happen to have every one of, even though her songs have some of the most ridiculous lyrics ever written. Don’t even get me started on her overuse of the exclamation point in song titles. But when it all boils down to it, Shania's songs are so stupid, yet so catchy. I end up enjoying the hell out of her stuff, which is probably why she sells so many records. She’s like a witch or something, casting spells over our ears with her catchy melodies. In terms of Britney, I really want to shun her, and while I’m not the biggest fan of Britney herself, I’ve got to admit: girl’s got some good songs. However, I have noticed a trend with both of these ladies that really bothers me - what is with the talking at the beginning of songs? Sure, there are many singers who employ the ad-libbing of yeahs and oohs and all that sort of stuff at the beginning of songs, but they don’t talk all the time. And I could forgive it if it were a rare occurrence, such as Pat Benatar’s little speech at the beginning of Love is a Battlefield, but Shania and Britney do it all the damn time. Enough, already – just sing, dammit. And maybe I could let some of them slide if they were saying something good, but they’re not. It’s always stupid.
To prove my point, here are some of the spoken intros to Shania songs, mostly from her crazy-selling Come On Over album (I’m leaving out all of the oohs, aahs, mmms and such – the list would be 85 pages long if I included those):
- “Here it comes!” - Here what comes? The song? Thanks for warning me. I don’t think I would have picked up on that from the instruments starting to play.
- (whispered) “Check it out.” - Now, this might be okay if she were stealthily telling me to check out some hot guy’s ass, but she’s not. In fact, I don’t even think she’s talking to me. I think she’s talking to the subject of the song. And she’s not telling him to check out her sweet ass moves or something, which I would have also let slide.
- “Let’s go!” and the ever popular ”Let’s go, girls.” - Campy enough that these are probably the ones that bother me the least. These would be fine if she didn’t talk in ever other song.
- ”Kick it!” - Let’s not.
-”One…two…now.” - What happened to three and four?
- Oh, the dreaded ballad intros: ”I just swear that I’ll always be there and I’d give anything and everything I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better for worse I will love you with every beat of my heart.” - zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh no, she’s got another? “When I first saw you, I saw love. The first time you touched me, I felt love. And after all this time, you’re still the one I love.” - Gagariffic!
- “Here we go! Yeah!” - Again – where the hell are we going?? Wait - nowhere? It’s just the start of the song? Eff this noise.
- ”Ah…yeah…shake it!” - Shake it? No.
And the worst one? ”Fiddles!” - Oh, Shania, why?
Now we move onto Ms. Spears (if you’re nasty). Here are some of the things that she has to say during the intros of songs on her Greatest Hits CD:
- “People can take everything away from you. But they can never take away your truth. But the question is, can you handle mine?” - The question should be, do I want to? I’ve seen where that truth has been, and K-Fed looks like he has cooties.
- “I know I may be young, but I’ve got feelings too. And I need to do what I feel like doing, so let me go and just listen.” - Ah yes, this was the beginning of her, “I’m going to be rebellious now because Justin gave me some” phase. She’s a slave 4 you, you know.
- “For whatever reason, I feel like I’ve been wanting you all my life. You don’t understand, I’m so glad we’re at the same place at the same time…and it’s over now.” - This one still doesn’t completely make sense to me, but whatever. I still agree with the song’s main sentiment about boys – sometimes a girl just needs one, y’all. Word. Also my answer when anyone brings up names of certain exes of mine.
- “Do y’all feel this? I know y’all feel this. Are you ready? I don’t think so.” - That Britney, always assuming. Maybe I don’t feel this and I AM ready. How do you like them apples?
- Oh God, the Britney and Madonna exchange: Britney: “It’s me against the music.” Madonna: “Uh huh.” B: “It’s just me.” M: “And me.” B: “Yeah” M: “Come on. Hoo! Hey Britney….” B: “Are you ready?” (always with that) M: “Uh huh. Are you?” B: “Uhhhhhh.” - Well, THAT was certainly interesting enough that is was worthy of a spoken intro, wasn’t it? Gah.
- And my award for stupidest intro goes to: ”This is a story about a girl named Lucky.” GAG. Also? Kill me now.
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t include what is possibly the most RIDICULOUS and stupid spoken exchange from a song, EVER. It doesn’t qualify as an intro, as it occurs in the middle of the song, but it is just so foolish that I have to mention it:
Conductor: “All aboard!”
Random Guy: “Britney, before you go, there’s something I want you to have.”
Britney: “Oh, it’s beautiful. But wait a minute, isn’t this?”
R.G.: “Yeah, yes it is.”
B: “But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean at the end.”
R.G.: “Well, baby, I went down and got it for you.”
B: “Aww, you shouldn’t have.”
That’s exactly how I feel, Britney. You shouldn’t have.
before & after
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
2006-09-14 - An Entry About Hall & Oates? Really?
Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.