Confession time: last week I bought the Greatest Hits CD of one Britney Spears. I know, I know. I don�t own any of her other albums, but I somehow felt that I needed to have this one. And in all honesty, it is really good. See, Britney falls into the category of singers whose music I hate to like. She joins Shania Twain on that list, whose CDs I happen to have every one of, even though her songs have some of the most ridiculous lyrics ever written. Don�t even get me started on her overuse of the exclamation point in song titles. But when it all boils down to it, Shania's songs are so stupid, yet so catchy. I end up enjoying the hell out of her stuff, which is probably why she sells so many records. She�s like a witch or something, casting spells over our ears with her catchy melodies. In terms of Britney, I really want to shun her, and while I�m not the biggest fan of Britney herself, I�ve got to admit: girl�s got some good songs. However, I have noticed a trend with both of these ladies that really bothers me - what is with the talking at the beginning of songs? Sure, there are many singers who employ the ad-libbing of yeahs and oohs and all that sort of stuff at the beginning of songs, but they don�t talk all the time. And I could forgive it if it were a rare occurrence, such as Pat Benatar�s little speech at the beginning of Love is a Battlefield, but Shania and Britney do it all the damn time. Enough, already � just sing, dammit. And maybe I could let some of them slide if they were saying something good, but they�re not. It�s always stupid.
To prove my point, here are some of the spoken intros to Shania songs, mostly from her crazy-selling Come On Over album (I�m leaving out all of the oohs, aahs, mmms and such � the list would be 85 pages long if I included those):
- �Here it comes!� - Here what comes? The song? Thanks for warning me. I don�t think I would have picked up on that from the instruments starting to play.
- (whispered) �Check it out.� - Now, this might be okay if she were stealthily telling me to check out some hot guy�s ass, but she�s not. In fact, I don�t even think she�s talking to me. I think she�s talking to the subject of the song. And she�s not telling him to check out her sweet ass moves or something, which I would have also let slide.
- �Let�s go!� and the ever popular �Let�s go, girls.� - Campy enough that these are probably the ones that bother me the least. These would be fine if she didn�t talk in ever other song.
- �Kick it!� - Let�s not.
-�One�two�now.� - What happened to three and four?
- Oh, the dreaded ballad intros: �I just swear that I�ll always be there and I�d give anything and everything I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better for worse I will love you with every beat of my heart.� - zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh no, she�s got another? �When I first saw you, I saw love. The first time you touched me, I felt love. And after all this time, you�re still the one I love.� - Gagariffic!
- �Here we go! Yeah!� - Again � where the hell are we going?? Wait - nowhere? It�s just the start of the song? Eff this noise.
- �Ah�yeah�shake it!� - Shake it? No.
And the worst one? �Fiddles!� - Oh, Shania, why?
Now we move onto Ms. Spears (if you�re nasty). Here are some of the things that she has to say during the intros of songs on her Greatest Hits CD:
- �People can take everything away from you. But they can never take away your truth. But the question is, can you handle mine?� - The question should be, do I want to? I�ve seen where that truth has been, and K-Fed looks like he has cooties.
- �I know I may be young, but I�ve got feelings too. And I need to do what I feel like doing, so let me go and just listen.� - Ah yes, this was the beginning of her, �I�m going to be rebellious now because Justin gave me some� phase. She�s a slave 4 you, you know.
- �For whatever reason, I feel like I�ve been wanting you all my life. You don�t understand, I�m so glad we�re at the same place at the same time�and it�s over now.� - This one still doesn�t completely make sense to me, but whatever. I still agree with the song�s main sentiment about boys � sometimes a girl just needs one, y�all. Word. Also my answer when anyone brings up names of certain exes of mine.
- �Do y�all feel this? I know y�all feel this. Are you ready? I don�t think so.� - That Britney, always assuming. Maybe I don�t feel this and I AM ready. How do you like them apples?
- Oh God, the Britney and Madonna exchange: Britney: �It�s me against the music.� Madonna: �Uh huh.� B: �It�s just me.� M: �And me.� B: �Yeah� M: �Come on. Hoo! Hey Britney�.� B: �Are you ready?� (always with that) M: �Uh huh. Are you?� B: �Uhhhhhh.� - Well, THAT was certainly interesting enough that is was worthy of a spoken intro, wasn�t it? Gah.
- And my award for stupidest intro goes to: �This is a story about a girl named Lucky.� GAG. Also? Kill me now.
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn�t include what is possibly the most RIDICULOUS and stupid spoken exchange from a song, EVER. It doesn�t qualify as an intro, as it occurs in the middle of the song, but it is just so foolish that I have to mention it:
Conductor: �All aboard!�
Random Guy: �Britney, before you go, there�s something I want you to have.�
Britney: �Oh, it�s beautiful. But wait a minute, isn�t this?�
R.G.: �Yeah, yes it is.�
B: �But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean at the end.�
R.G.: �Well, baby, I went down and got it for you.�
B: �Aww, you shouldn�t have.�
That�s exactly how I feel, Britney. You shouldn�t have.
before & after
2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.