That pretty much sums up my weekend right there. I am completely wrecked physically, but it was all in good fun and led to a fantastic weekend. However, it also opened my eyes to the fact that I am even more out-of-shape than I thought I was. Good Lord. Of course, any time I mention this at work, people scoff and roll their eyes because I'm so thin. My weight is all genetics, baby. If not for that, I'd probably be a house. I laugh when my doctor asks me if I exercise, which is not really a good thing. But then again, I'm too lazy to do anything about it. See? It's all a vicious circle. I should really try to get in better shape, but really - it's almost the fall TV season. Come on now. Priorities, here. I walk upstairs to my second-floor office building every day, doesn't that count? Actually, judging by this weekend, I'd say not. I'm afraid to wake up tomorrow morning to see what aches - I'm pretty sure I'll be walking like Grape Ape, but I won't know until I find out what horrors 7AM unleashes on me tomorrow. Let's recap what got me to this point, because it's pretty much all of the exercise I do in 3 months smooshed into 3 days.

Friday: Actually, I'm going to kind of keep mum on any physical exertion that took place on Friday. Instead, I'll tell you about our latest trip to karaoke at the homeless bar. It was as bizarre and fantastic as ever. I had been telling someone about it, we'll call him Harry (we've been hanging out a little while he's here visiting for a month - think Grease without the poodle skirts) and he insisted that he had to see it for himself. He kept mistakenly referring to it as "the toothless bar" before we went, which made it sound even better. Lucy and her boyfriend joined us, and Ram was in full effect as usual. However, this time we were in for an extra-special treat as he whipped out a guitar and did 3 numbers with some singers. One of them? Stairway to Heaven. Oh, did I not mention that this was the night of the never-ending songs? Yeah - someone sang November Rain and then someone else did a Meatloaf number (LUCY: Are we getting Loafed?* PAM: Shit, we are! HARRY: Oh man, I didn't even see that coming. Dammit!). Oh, and just for pkers, who likes to know these things, Lucy sang Melissa Etheridge's Breathe and Default's Wasting My Time while I pulled out Pat Benatar All Fired Up and Welcome to the Jungle. I don't know why I opted for that second number, but it was really fun to sing. The guy who looks like Frank Zappa was there, and he was dancing to it. (I did my best Axl snakey dance with Ram joining in.) When I got back to the table, Harry was beaming as he announced, "I just saw a toothless guy! I told you!" Sure enough, I looked over and saw the man in question who was not missing one or two, but ALL FOUR of his middle front teeth. This is the greatest bar in the universe.

So that was Friday night. What do you mean, there was no exertion? Singing burns calories! So does dancing like Axl Rose! And kissing! And...I'll just leave it at that.

Saturday: The fabulous Frito recently gifted me with an Eye Toy camera for my Playstation 2, along with a copy of the awesome Groove game. After my brother and I went to the movies yesterday, I challenged him to a Battle Groove, so I got a mini-workout playing that, but nothing major. However, that night we headed over to Frito and David's for "a quiet night in" that started off with some fun board games but then led to the playing of the Eye Toy Play 2 game that Frito recently got. If you've never heard of this, it's basically a series of all mini-games that are played based on your movements that the camera picks up. For example, one of my favorites involves fighting ninjas where you slap and swat them away when they fly at you. The four of us decided to have a Play 2 tournament last night, and our decision could have killed me. We started playing random games, and I was getting winded trying to chop ice and play the drums and whatever else we had to do. Then came the boxing match, where we had to hit the heavy bag. I went first, and the others were all laughing at me because I was flailing around like a maniac, out of breath while I tried to get the bag going to some degree. They all stopped laughing when they tried and couldn't beat me. It's hard, y'all! We then discovered that I may need to enter the Eye Toy Olympics as I handed their asses to them on a platter with some other events. Frito was keeping up with me for quite some time until I discovered the Home Run Derby. I'm pretty sure I may be Barry Bonds. Seriously, it's quite possible.

Anyway, after the tournament, we decided to try our hand at the single-player games since the tournament games only have you play one level. The single players allow you to advance along the path if you keep doing well. This led to my undoing. For my turn, I was tempted by the lure of the baseball diamond, but instead opted for a rematch with the boxing heavy bag. But first, I had to face off in a match against the lightweight champ. I knocked his ass out handily. Then I beat the shit out of the speed-bag, ripping it right out of its holder. Then the middleweight champ. At this point, I was starting to breathe VERY heavily as the game is pretty unrelenting and has ridiculously brief resting time between rounds. After I took care of the middleweight CHUMP, I entered the ring to battle it out against the heavyweight champ. My punches were no longer taking as much power away from his "life bar" and his punches (when he could get one in, sucka) knocked me for a loop. I was bobbing and weaving and jabbing and pummeling and feeling like my chest was about to explode. It may have taken me two rounds, but I knocked that guy's ass out. I rested my hands on my knees as I tried to catch some breath and relieve the BURNING in my chest from its "what the hell is all of this activity?" rebellion, but then looked up to find the heavy bag stage loading. I swore, straightened up, and eventually knocked that thing right off of its holder. Little bitch. I threw my hands up in victory, sweating like a maniac, but then noticed my doom - ANOTHER round loading right away: The Super-Heavyweight Championship Bout. All I could say was, "Shit." I rallied, almost passing out and landing punches that did miniscule damage. I went 3 rounds with the bohemoth without knocking him out, but I did win the fight, so you are now looking at the Super-Heavyweight Champion of the World. Oh, that's right. So bow down to the bow wow. The game then takes your picture to be stored with your score, and hopefully no one will ever see mine again because it is just me with my arms hanging to the ground like a neanderthal, mouth agape, eyes glazed over while I'm panting like a basset hound. Hot. I then promptly collapsed on Frito's couch, pouring Kool-Aid down my gullet. It took about 20-30 minutes before my chest stopped hurting from all of the physical activity, so I should really do something about that. Eh, either way, the important things are: A) I didn't die B) I had a LOT of fun and C) I am the Super-Heavyweight Champion of the World.

Sunday: I must first preface this to say that I had made these plans earlier in the week, so I'm not a complete lunatic for suggesting I do this today after last night. But today, my brother, Liz and I went to the driving range. Liz has been wanting to get into golf more, so we offered to go and help her in any way. (Don't take tips from me, I slice everything.) Anyway, my brother and I got there a little early, and since I am simply unable to resist the lure of the batting cage, I took a turn hitting 20 balls. After 5, it seemed like they would never end. It was at this point that I noticed that my arms were getting a little sore. Of course, this was after I had already bought my token for my bucket of balls to hit on the driving range. And I blame the peer pressure of my brother for my foolish move there, with him suggesting I just get a large bucket as it's only $2 more than the medium and you get 35 more balls. Stupidly, I listened to him and ended up driving 105 golf balls. I finished before the others, so I just sat there and watched as my arms once again reached for the ground. When I got home, my body cried, so I collapsed onto my bed and promptly fell asleep. And this is so sad and pathetic to say, but my forearms are starting to feel like spaghetti after all of this typing. I am officially a wussmaster. And terrified of what I am going to feel like in the morning. I'd better get my beanie, suspenders and shorts ready because I anticipate some Grape Ape-style walking. Help me.

"GRAPE APE!"

* Loafing (v.): To terrorize others with the song stylings of Meatloaf; ex.: the evil act of throwing some money in a jukebox and selecting all of the longest Meatloaf songs you can find right before quickly exiting the building, essentially "loafing" all of the unsuspecting patrons who will feel your wrath a few songs later.

TV Character Obsession of the Week: I just finished watching the DVDs of the first season of Popular, and now I need to write myself a character based on Mary Cherry for my next play. Mary Cherry rules my world.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.