Now that we�re in the midst of the American Idol finals, my Tuesday workday has become about guessing what songs the contestants will be singing. (What, did you think I was going to do work??!) Tonight�s theme is Songs of the 21st Century, so that leaves the gate wide open. Here�s what Lucy, Joe and I have come up with. (Lucy�s thoughts had me laughing out loud at my desk like a moron.) We�ll see how we do. (I also realized that I have not talked about AI yet this season, so I�ll also add in some of my thoughts about the singers before I get to our picks.)
Ace: Okay, I need to talk about Ace here. You see, I was impressed with his rendition of Father Figure (and may have watched it repeatedly just to see that hot and dirty look he gives while he�s growling that he�ll be my daddy, all the while yelling, �Oh, you can BE my daddy!� at the TV. What? I said may have.) but his performances have been a little lackluster ever since. HOWEVER, and note how big this however is � I still vote for him every week just to keep his hot ass on my TV screen. (My mom keeps trying to vote for his brother.) He should really be an actor as he�s not the best singer there, but he�s not horrific � it doesn�t pain me to listen to him. And seriously, have you seen the boy? Everyone knows I�m a sucker for The Pretty. Anyhoo � what are our predictions for Acey this week?
PAM: Ace � boy band song, definitely. Or maybe some Justin?
JOE: Sorry, but anything by Michael Jackson, probably a sappy love song with falsetto. Maybe second rate N'SYNCer JC.
PAM: Nah, Michael hasn�t put anything out since 2000, has he?
JOE: Ace will find the one Michael Jackson song that he put out this century.
LUCY: He will attempt to sing Usher, try to dance like Usher, do a fast turn, lose his balance and fall right on Paula Abdul...she will moan in ecstasy, then throw up pure grain alcohol and Paxil. (I actually think Maroon 5 would be a good choice for him.)
PAM: I agree with the Maroon 5 � can you imagine him singing She Will Be Loved? I�m swooning just thinking about it.
Chris: Chris is currently my pick in Shmuel�s Idol Pool to win it all. Ace could never win because he wouldn�t have the guy vote � Chris would. And girls � come on, the guy is hella hot. I usually vote for him, but passed last week.
PAM: Nickelback. I don�t think I even need to say anything more.
JOE: Nickelback. hahaha What else?
LUCY: He will sing another somber rocker power ballad. The audience will become depressed and steal Paula's Paxil.
(At this point, I believe Kevin will force his way onto the stage and do a rendition of "Ragtime Gal" a la Michigan J. Frog).
Bucky: Oh, Bucky. What more is there to say? He seems like a nice guy, but I really think he game my TV hepatitis. And my neighbors probably heard my screams of, �AAAUUGGGH!!! It�s like The Shining!!!!!� when his identical twin brother joined him on stage. Thanks to Rocky, my TV also came down with scabies. Still, I think he�s a nice guy � he�s genuine, he�s got a good voice, but I don�t think it�s good enough to be in the top 12.
PAM: Bucky will sing Kid Rock, without a doubt.
JOE: Yeah, definitely. They both have hepatitis written all over themselves.
LUCY: I think HE will sing Nickelback...for the same reason Joe cited for Kid Rock. Chad Kroeger must have hepatitis, too.
Paris: Paris has an amazing voice and she�s a great performer, but every so often I see a little cocky side of her that needs to go. My brother and I predict a Paris backlash at some point. She also reminds me a little too much of the girl on Small Wonder, and that freaks my shit out. Nevertheless, here are our picks:
PAM: Fantasia? Alicia Keys?
JOE: Fantasia.
LUCY: Some Beyonce song so she can shake her thang...Dentists will be on hand to treat the audience�s newly acquired cavities following her performance.
PAM: I�m rethinking Fantasia now � I think it�s too close to home for the show. But she�ll probably do a fast one so she can dance. No more Conga, please.
Lisa: Poor Lisa, she�s toast. And it�s too bad, because I really liked her from the beginning. Her audition gave me chills, but she�s been boring in the semis and finals. Even though I think she�s better than Paris, she won�t last longer than her.
PAM: Keys.
JOE: Christina Aguilera, Beautiful
LUCY: She will become sad when she realizes she cannot sing a Whitney song, since the 21st century is Whitney's "Crack Ho" period and she has not released any songs.
Taylor: Oh, good Lord. Don�t even get me STARTED on Effing Taylor Effing Hicks. He is my new Constantine, albeit with more talent. Sure, the guy can sing, but I can�t stand his freaking out. Notice he�s not doing it when he doesn�t know the camera is on. Total asswipe. He�s going to make it far and I cry a little each day because of that.
PAM: Hmm...I don�t know! All I know is that someone pointed out that last week his suit looked like the tux that Jeff Daniels wears in Dumb and Dumber and he was completely right.
JOE: Michael Bolton or someone stupid like that.
LUCY: He will pull out some random Blues Traveler song and play the harmonica. HAY! (If you�ve ever seen Will Ferrell do Harry Carey, you know exactly how that �HAY!� should sound. It�s not even a �Hey!� � it�s HAY!)
PAM: I just fear he'll try to do white boy soul music and pull out Chariot. You'll hear my screams from your house.
LUCY: HAY!!!
Katharine: Love the McPhee � as the judges might say, she sings effortlessly. Plus, she seems fun and her act doesn�t get tiring after a while (see Pickler, Kellie). I would love to see her go all the way, but for some reason I don�t think she can win the whole thing. Let�s hope I�m wrong.
PAM: No idea.
JOE: Celine Dion.
LUCY: If she sings Celine, I will hunt her down and knife her. Ooh, what if she sang Norah Jones?
PAM: She should totally do Norah.
Kellie Pickler: I liked the Pick at first, but now I�m all about the dialing it down. She�s a good singer, but she doesn�t have a lot of range or power. However, that won�t matter as she�s totally sailing to the final 4. I lost ALL respect for her after hearing the rumor that she is dating Constantine. Even if it�s just a rumor, she still hung out with him at a party. Gross. Now she�s going to give my TV cooties!
PAM: Country, definitely country � but what? Martina McBride?
JOE: Shania Twain or Faith Hill. Maybe Jo Dee Messina. (How does Joe know all of this country all of a sudden? Maybe he just knows the hot ones.)
PAM: Yeah, I can see her doing Faith Hill.
LUCY: Something hillbilly where she can have her grandpa play the spoons and jug behind her...
PAM: I would pay to see that.
Mandisa: She rocks. I don�t think she can win either, but you never know. I predict her falling victim to Tamyra Gray/Latoya London syndrome. Let�s hope she escapes it.
PAM: SHE should be singing Keys, but I don�t know what she�ll do.
JOE: (Clearly living in another century with some of his picks) Patti Labelle.
LUCY: Something AWESOME. I love her so.
PAM: What if Mandisa whipped out the Beyonce instead of Paris?
LUCY: Hmmm....
PAM: Hmmm....
Elliott: Okay, let�s talk about Elliott now. I love Elliott. He�s my favorite, and he has no shot whatsoever. Why did we only see 5 seconds of him during Hollywood week? Poor Elliott. I vote for him every week � his voice is amazing, and his control equally so. LOVE him. So what if he looks like the faun from Narnia?
PAM: Usher? :-)
JOE: John Legend.
LUCY: Ooh, John Legend � that would be AWESOME.
PAM: That would rule my world.
LUCY: How perfect would it be if Elliott sang Ordinary People? �We should take it slow....� Sigh.
I hope he does it.
So yeah, this is how we spend our time at work. Doesn�t everyone? Let�s see how right we are tonight � c�mon Ace, sing about being my daddy again. Rowr!
before & after
2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.