Let’s get ready to do this shit.

I must admit 2 things up front before the show starts: 1) I prefer this to the VMA’s simply because I know who everyone is on this show. There’s no Yin Yang Twins causing “Who?!” moments, so it doesn’t make me feel ridiculously old, and 2) I’m not the biggest Jessica Alba fan. She’s as exciting to me as…paper or something. She’s just…I don’t know. I don’t really see her having a mass appeal with the female audience the way a Mandy Moore would. Or, Lindsay Lohan when she hosted a few years ago. It was before the uber-skinny, so her knockers had the guy viewers and Mean Girls had the chicks. But Alba? Is Idle Hands really attracting the females? Please tell me it’s not Honey. And the only reason I would have seen Into the Blue is for half-naked Paul Walker, and even that didn’t lure me. So I’m not holding out much hope for her hosting, but at least it can’t be worse than The Wayans brothers, right?

4 minutes until showtime, and I’ve got the pre-show on and have already made myself look like a fool for bragging about knowing who everyone is, because Wolfmother? WHO? Oh God, I’m old.

Showtime. Shall we?

- Topher AND Flav? Sweet. Stupid opening, though. They’ve done WAY better. I wonder how long it is before Andy Dick shows up in one of them. HA! He was just in the opening credits. Gotta love it. I think that’s all he does these days is star in MTV spoofs for their awards shows.

- Is it just me, or is Kevin Spacey kind of a hag now?

- Christian Bale – HELL YEAH. I wish he went off on a tangent about the merits of Sssussudio or Huey Lewis in his acceptance speech, though.

- Anna Faris, those shorts are ridiculous.

- I’m kind of over Jamie Foxx. Way over. Although even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t see Miami Vice.

- Okay, that commercial with the kid asking his dad if he uses condoms is just creepy.

- How I love the Jakey.

- Aaaaaannnnd there’s Andy Dick.

- This DaVinci Code parody is never-ending. Hey, sort of like the movie!

- Gnarls Barkley side-tangent: Whenever I hear their name, I always start thinking about whether or not anyone still watches the NBA. Do they? I haven’t watched a pro-basketball game in years. But back in the day, I used to go to people’s houses to watch the playoffs. What happened? I had a Chris Webber t-shirt! I had jerseys for my favorite players! I once went to a McDonald’s drive-thru during the Dream Team 2 days and asked, “Can I get that Coke in a Reggie Miller cup?” I was in the Christian Laettner fan club! Well, actually, that one was just because he was hot. But I went to see him at the Boston Garden and I wore a foam finger! FOAM FINGER!! Really, what happened? Remember the original Dream Team days? People were crazy for basketball back then! I used to play NBA Jams all the time and I knew who all of the players were. Now I’m lucky if I know 2 who haven’t been arrested for rape. Poor basketball.

- Best Villain – I’d better see some Cillian Murphy up in these nominees. First one! God, I love that man. I know I’ve talked about the Cillian a few times before, but I finally got to see Breakfast on Pluto this week, and holy HELL is that boy hot. People think he’s creepy or goofy, but I think he is utterly gorgeous. I involuntarily exclaim all over the place when I watch him. Hayden Christensen won??!! Really? He’s the worst thing to happen to Star Wars. No Yellow Bastard in the nominees? Bleah.

- Did I mention how boring I find Jessica Alba? She’s now officially worse than paper. I don’t know why I even picked paper in the first place, but there it is. More boring than paper. She’s like sardines. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore – why do these shows make me so punchy? Has anything even happened yet?

- Don’t tell anyone, but I can’t WAIT for The Lake House. It looks like a good weeper.

- Ooh, more Cillian in the Red Eye clip. More Cillian is always a good thing. Ooh, Joaquin! My favorite creep.

- These movie spoofs suck this year. And Alba really can’t do comedy. WHY ARE THEY SO LONG???? Didn’t I spend 2 weeks in the theater watching King King already? WHY MORE???

- T.I.: Okay, so I don’t really know anything about him, but at least I’ve heard of him, Wolfmother.

- Xtina! I’m dying for her album. Man, I love her skanky ass. Ooh, and her sax player! She rules.

- I really have absolutely no desire to see Nacho Libre. A little Jack Black goes a loooong way for me.

- LL! I just saw his House episode this week. My favorite performance of his will still always be the video for I’m the Type of Guy. Remember that whole robbery video? “T-Y-P-E G-U-Y, I’m the type of guy….” And remember that 4 year-span when he kept showing up at awards shows and things performing Mama Said Knock You Out? We’d finished calling it a comeback ages ago, but he just kept yelling at us about it.

- Do The Right Thing - I used to be such a Spike Lee fan that I got my mom to write me a note to get out of school early to attend the matinee of Jungle Fever on opening day. I believe I wore my Mookie t-shirt that day.

- Tokyo Drift – come on now.

- It can’t just be me – Jessica Alba really is bad at this, isn’t she?

- I don’t get the Dane Cook thing at all. Am I old? Is that it? The only funny thing I’ve seen him in is the Target sketch on SNL, and that really had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Kristen Wiig. “Do we have more of these?”

- I have a strange affinity for Ludacris, and I have no idea why. Love the Luda.

- Do they not repeat the movie awards on MTV enough that someone has to go watch clips online? Just tune in anytime in the next 2 weeks and you’re bound to catch it 98% of the time. The rest of the time? The Hills.

- That’s it? Wedding Crashers - kind of a given, even though The 40 Year-Old Virgin was better. Sorry, Wolfmother – no post-show for me. Bed! Catch you next year….


before & after





2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
2006-09-14 - An Entry About Hall & Oates? Really?





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.