Oh, sorry, that was just me turning into The Hulk, because apparently I HAVE. I’ve been noticing something lately that does not please me, but I tried to ignore it. However, I could no longer deny the obvious after the countless minutes that I spent this morning trying to find a shirt that would fit me. They’re all too short! And it’s not that my pants have gotten any lower. They’re the same shirts that I’ve been wearing, some of which I have had for a good two years, but all of a sudden they no longer fit me properly. And I can’t even blame the washing machine, because some of them are hand wash-only, and some I haven’t even worn since last summer. However, they all seem to have banded together to mock me. Seriously, they are like bibs. What is going on? I know I put on a few pounds and all, but it wasn’t that many since I last wore some of these shirts. Some I wore a few months ago! I think I gained one or two pounds since then – not enough to make my clothes all magically stop fitting. The weight must have just re-settled itself somewhere in my upper body. And as much as I adore my bigger boobs, they’re not THAT big to make all of my shirts ride up. I wish it were so, but really – it’s not. So I really want to know one thing:

What made me so angry that I turned into The Hulk? When I'm not in full-on Hulk mode, will I now hear the sad "Do do do dooooo" music whenever I say goodbye and head off into the sunset, looking forlorn as I hitch-hike to my next unknown destination? Because, admittedly, that would be kind of cool.

Okay, make that three things, the final question being this:

Who will buy me new shirts?

Because really: bibs. Maybe I should be happy that tunics are all the rage? No, I still can’t bring myself to celebrate that. I’m still fully against that. And I really don’t want Mom Jeans to come back just so they can move upwards and meet my incredibly shrinking shirts. And as much as I love to shop and would enjoy buying new shirts, there are two issues/problems with that scenario: 1) The hideous clothes out in the stores right now & 2) I really love a lot of my shirts. I want them to fit!!! THE SKULL SHIRT DOES NOT FIT ME, PEOPLE. [Note: The skull shirt is this awesome sleeveless shirt that I’ve had for many years – it’s red and has a picture of a smiling, bedazzly skull face on it. It used to be my first date shirt. It just rules. Look at it!

Whenever I used to ask Lucy what I should wear somewhere, she always answered, “You can never go wrong with the skull shirt.” And she was right. When Frito and I started getting close and realized that we were the male and female version of each other, it was also discovered that he owns the EXACT same shirt in blue. It’s so creepy how much alike we are. So you can understand how upset I am about the skull shirt – it has been my go-to shirt for ages. I was wearing it when I met Debbie – oh, sorry – DEBORAH Gibson and she said, “I love your shirt!” Such is the power and allure of the skull shirt.]

Lucy just asked me if I’m growing. I’m going to be 32 in a couple of weeks – do people have growth spurts then? Then again, Lucy said that I am Powder, so it wouldn’t be anything strange for me with the array of medical mysteries I’ve had go on. You know what? As implausible as it may sound, I’m going to go with that as my explanation simply because it’s also pretty awesome. The next time my doctor wants to do a bone density test on me, I’m going to scoff and say, “There’s a chance of early osteoporosis for me because I had a hysterectomy so young? Pssshh! I’m still growing, bitches! Check out my bib-like shirts!” I’m also going with the freakish-‘I’m still growing!’ explanation because the alternative of me maybe getting my middle-age spread early is just not going to cut it.

Look Ma, I’m growing!!

'Why I Love YouTube' Clip of the Day:

This is one of my all-time favorite Electric Company cartoons. It gets stuck in my head for days whenever I hear it.

before & after





2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
2006-09-14 - An Entry About Hall & Oates? Really?





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.