Everything's More Fun In Pigtails!
2006-03-19 || Scenes From St. Patrick's Day

The Luck of the Irish? Apparently not with me on Friday night.

Is this because I'm only half Irish?

Anyway, I went out with Liz on Friday night to do the St. Patrick's Day thing and our night was just full of absurdity. Of course, that's just the way I like it. Normally when we go out, we don't get approached by guys that much. I usually do the approaching in most cases, or guys just look at us but never come over. However, we found out the other night that drinking since noon will change that real fast. We had guys coming up to us all over the place. Of course, seeing as I was involved, I should amend that to "we had weirdos and losers coming up to us all over the place." At our first stop, a guy who looked just like Uncle Fester (can you believe he got offended when I told him that?) was chatting with us and wanted to call his friend to come and talk with us as well. Here's what he told us about his friend: "I'm going to call my friend Buff to see if he wants to come hang out. You'll like Buff, he's got big muscles. Nice guy. He did a little time in jail, but he's a good guy."

Yeeeeeaaaaaahhh.

After leaving that bar, we tried to get into 3 different Irish bars, but they all had lines out the door and it was too cold to wait, so we headed down the street to another place. Liz's cousin was there and one of the guys that was with her group started talking to us and then came and sat down later. He was clearly feeling no pain and said the F-word every other word. At one point, he pulled out his NCAA chart to compare with Liz, and I noticed his name on the top in what looked like a 3rd-grader's handwriting. The way he was talking, I knew it was his. The name also looked mighty familiar to me. I asked him who his brother was, and when he said the name, I announced, "He was my first kiss in 6th grade." He laughed and asked my name and then said he remembered hearing it. I guess the name recognition gave him cause to then tell me about his troublesome lifestyle and recent bar fights. Yes, I was being hit on by the ne-er-do-well brother of my elementary school boyfriend (who, I may add was 5 or 6 when his brother kissed my coat because he was nervous). It was bizarre.

However, nothing compared with what was to come. Liz and I were just sitting there, minding our own business all "do-dee-doo," when a guy came over and slid into the booth next to me and drunkenly slurred, "Hey. I'm Jay." We gingerly said hello and then he launched into this spiel: "I live about a mile up the road. My friend over there (pointing to a hideous guy who looked like he was separated from his Dungeons and Dragons club) and I were going to go back to my house and go in my green hot tub and get some Ronzio Pizza. You ladies like to come?" Liz and I just gave each other a WTF? look before she sputtered out, "You have a green hot tub?" Jay then explained that he had green lights around his hot tub in honor of St. Patrick's Day. Then he repeated the spiel, emphasizing the pizza aspect. Now, for those of you who don't have a Ronzio Pizza in your area, let me just tell you that it is a pizza chain whose pizza is just not good. It's worse than Domino's. After we politely declined (and Liz thanked him for the offer), Liz got up to get a beer thinking that he would leave. He didn't. I was stuck there with him, and he just kept talking up the pizza as if that was the whole selling point of the thing. It was also 12:30 AM at this point. Then Jay asked me if I thought his offer was a little creepy. Uh...let me think about that...YES. Finally, I saw Liz making her way back to the table, but not before stopping to talk to the friend. When she got back to the table, she told Jay that his friend was waiting for him, but he just laughed and still DIDN'T LEAVE. He then pitched the whole thing again with even MORE emphasis on the pizza and Liz finally just told him no thank you and then waved and said, "Bye!" He then turned his attention to me, smiling and nodding. I apologized and said no again and he said that he would be over with his friend if I changed my mind and wanted his number. I thanked him and turned away. He then sat there for a minute, apparently thinking I was going to change my mind, before he FINALLY got up and left. After he was gone, Liz told me that she was trying to get his friend to come and get him, but his friend couldn't even put a sentence together. Great.

So yeah, this is what I attract - Uncle Festers and their ex-con friends, the loser brother of my 6th grade boyfriend, and drunk creeps who invite strangers to their hot tobs for gross pizza. Erin Go Friggin' Brah!

Liz and me at the beginning of our night, blissfully unaware of the adventures ahead. [For those of you keeping track at home - oh yes, the pigtails are back.]


* I didn't have time to do a proper entry about it tonight, but watch for my next entry with pictures, tales, and hopefully some video clips from Frito's Survivor Party last night. It rocked the house, y'all.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile


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