In the words of R. Kelly as Rufus, �There�s a mystery going on around here and I�m gonna solve it.� Yesterday afternoon at work I was in the bathroom doing my ceremonial �last call before the ride home� pee when someone else came in and went in another stall. I was still in my stall at the time so I didn�t see who it was, but while I was washing my hands, I noticed something odd in the mirror. The person was peeing, but when I looked at the feet under the stall, they were facing the toilet. I thought that I was seeing things, that maybe we had a funhouse mirror installed since the last time I was in there, but when I bent down to take a closer look, sure enough there were women�s feet under there, facing the toilet. The person was still peeing away merrily and then even started unrolling toilet paper, so it�s not like she was shaking off a shenis. Or was the toilet paper just a ruse? Maybe she was! Hiding the shenis! Hey, I saw House last week with the hermaphrodite. I don�t know - all I know is that I started taking my sweet time washing my hands and drying them and drying them, waiting for the mystery person to emerge. Just for good measure, I checked the feet again and they were still facing the toilet. How in the? Who in the? Was she straddling the bowl? I don�t get it. Finally, another worker came in and I felt a little creepy just standing there, drying my bone dry hands and waiting and waiting, so I fled before I could solve the mystery. I tried lingering in the break room for a little while after that, but the only person to emerge was the worker that I saw go in after me, so I still don�t know who was in there. Now I think I�m going to have to lurk around outside of there like a wino, because I just need to know what the hell the deal is. The feet looked like the person was in a sitting position, but I couldn�t tell completely. All I know is that they were facing the other way and I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about it and laughing alone in my cubicle like a moron.

In other work news, there is a new worker in our office who has become the new Queen of the Co-Worker Fashion Faux Pas. A few co-workers have commented on how beautifully she dresses, but I think they�re high. Seriously, this woman�s outfits almost give me a seizure. The first week she was here, she wore gauchos Mon-Thur (GAUCHO OVERLOAD) and then capped the week by wearing capri pants on Friday (flowered spring-y capri pants in the dead of winter) with BLACK NYLONS and heels. WTF? Turquoise and white flowered capri pants with black nylons and black heels? My head was spinning. The next week, she showed up in a black sweater with a ridiculously oversized teal fur collar that looked like a dead Muppet (sorry, Frito) pelt. Poor Muppet.
Yesterday she showed up in a fuchsia suit with a matching pillbox-type hat that she left on all day. I don�t know what she�s dressing all up for � did I mention that I work in the welfare office, which is housed in an old warehouse building? And where does she even buy these things? The capper was still Wednesday�s ensemble � leather pants with matching half-knit, half leather sweater. It�s insane. Between this woman�s outfits and the secret backwards whizzer, I�ve got enough to keep me entertained for a week! Woo!

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Speaking of Muppets, is there anyone who can't help but smile at then end of the new Kermit hyrbid truck commercial when he's all standing there with his walking stick, giggling away. Kermit could totally solve all of the world's problems, y'all.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.