Yes, I know it�s lame, but it�s cold - I�m not wearing a gown. Let�s just get to it � and once again I am boycotting the pre-show. Shall we?

8:33 PM: Is anyone besides me hoping for a CB4 shout-out in this opening montage?

8:34 PM: Standing ovation for Chris Rock? Hmmm�. I�m reserving judgment.

8:39 PM: Is Spike Lee still wearing his safety goggles from basketball?

8:43 PM: Ooh, nice Halle Berry Catwoman smackdown. Okay, I�m starting to like it, Rock. Good monologue.

8:44 PM: Shaved-head Jake Gyllenhaal??? WHY?????

8:47 PM: A stunningly dressed Zellweger and Best Supporting Actor � Morgan Freeman, I can deal with that. The scarf has got to go, though. Classy speech from a classy guy. Well played, Mr. Freeman.

8:51 PM: I love the Oscars announcer laughing when she said Drew Barrymore was coming up. She�s all, �Drew Barrymore at the Oscars? What the hell? Did people SEE Home Fries? It blew!�

8:54 PM: Robin Williams � sorry, but HATE! God, he bugs.

9:00 PM: Oh, this in-the-audience nonsense is foolish. Let the people go on stage. It�s the Oscars, for crying out loud. Oh, how ridiculous. Gil Cates, you suck.

9:03 PM: The French song sung by Beyonce? Come ON. Yes, because when I think of French chanteuse, I think Knowles. If you�re not going to let the ACTUAL artist perform it, at least get Celine Dion. Was she really that costly, people? Hell, Shania Twain is Canadian, she probably knows some French.

9:08 PM: Commercials. Oh, Andie MacDowell � I kinda miss you. Come back to movies. You rocked Four Weddings and a Funeral and Sex, Lies and Videotape.

9:13 PM: Is a relative of John Wilkes Booth planning something for Scarlett Johansson? Why is she in that box? And WHY is she wearing a tiara?

9:20 PM: Best Supporting Actress � Cate Blanchett! Sweet! She rocks.

9:29 PM: I really want to give Leonardo DiCaprio a new hairdo.

9:32 PM: Speaking of hairdos, I covet Kirsten Dunst�s.

9:35 PM: I like The Counting Crows and all, but why are all of these woman all over Adam Duritz? Aniston and Courteney Cox � THIS is hot? He looks like Sideshow Bob�s brother. Although I must say that the line �And all at once you look across a crowded room/And see the way that light attaches to a girl� from A Long December makes me swoon. But still � Sideshow Bob. Or that thing I use to get rid of spider webs in the ceiling corners.

9:46 PM: Okay, Gyllenhaal is still hot with no hair. Like Cherita, I *heart* Donnie Darko.

9:50 PM: Why is it that I still can�t look at Al Pacino without yelling, �Hoowa!�?

9:54 PM: Sidney Lumet, blah blah blah. I�ll use this time to tell you all that I am thoroughly enjoying my Jones Soda in Blue Bubble Gum flavor that I bought on a whim today.

9:59 PM: This honorary Oscar crap is still going o�zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10:03 PM: Commercials. I don�t even clean and I long for a Dyson vacuum cleaner.

10:05 PM: I want that monkey on the top of Andrew Lloyd Webber�s piano! Speaking of Webber, he�s looking MIGHTY waxy tonight. Geez. Oh, great. Beyonce again. Is that Jigga in the Phantom costume? Because that would be AWESOME. I also think Beyonce is wearing the chandelier from Phantom as her necklace.

10:10 PM: Oh, this audience nonsense again. What? Harold and Kumar? I wish. �And the winner of best love montage with a bag of pot goes to�.� �Best use of Neil Patrick Harris � what do you know, it�s Harold and Kumar again!� Now that�s MY kind of Oscars.

10:14 PM: �Thank you for this Oscar. And my mom has been in the hospital for 45 days, so there�s that. Have a great night!� - Sing it with me if you know it: Un. Comfortable!

10:21 PM: Hayek and Cruz � proving that yes, they are interchangeable.

10:27 PM: Wait a minute � so Antonio Banderas is supposed to be a DRAW for the young and hip demo? Please. One Puss in Boots is not going to make up for the rest of his career. Spy Kids, anyone? I really want to wash his hair.

10:34 PM: Commercials. Damn, Stamos is looking better with age. H-h-h-h-hot!

10:35 PM: Why does Natalie Portman sound so angry? She is pissed! Pretty dress, though.

10:38 PM: I don�t mean to be mean to the long-winded winners of the Documentary Short Subject, but seriously, WE DON�T CARE. Shut it. Leave that time for Jamie Foxx�s speech.

10:39 PM: Still not understanding Scarlett Johansson�s tiara.

10:40 PM: And hellooooo Johnny Depp. Hot guy, ugly suit. I�ll forgive it, though, because, well, Johnny Depp.

10:44 PM: Humanitarian Awar�zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10:51 PM: Am I the only one who finds the applause tacky during the �In Memoriam� segment? I went to a wake the other night and no one was clapping there. Tacky!

10:56 PM: P. Diddy? Really?

10:57 PM: Groban � FINALLY. Get out of there, Beyonce! Haven�t you hogged enough?

11:00 PM: Prince � what are those PANTS? He looks so thrilled to be there.

11:01 PM: That Banderas song one? That must have been one hell of a recording with the original artist. Also? Best. Acceptance. Speech. EVER.

11:03 PM: Memo to Sean Penn � it�s called a JOKE. God. Best Actress already? Okay, let�s do it then. Why is Bening bugging me so much lately? I kind of hope she loses. Aaaaand she did. Ooh, she looks pissed! Hilary Swank is so her Newman. Swank? Yeah, I can deal with that. I like her when she�s not parading around her half-naked body all, �But look! I�m NOT a guy!�

11:14 PM: I�m just noticing that I�m getting KILLED in my Oscar pool. This is so not my year. Oh hey, but I got Foreign Language Film. Go me?

11:16 PM: Original Screenplay � if Kaufman doesn�t win, I may have a mini-riot right here. YES!!!!!!! Why didn�t they have Seth Green play him in Adaptation? Wow, he is weird �fro Seth Green.

11:22 PM: Best Actor � Okay, time for Jamie Foxx, baby. Camera Guy: �Let�s cut to all of the black people when he wins.� Meanwhile, at home, every Wayans is crying. Still? Awesome and well-deserved.

11:32 PM: Hey, Julia Roberts finally got her Brockovich boobs!

11:33 PM: Aww, poor Martin Scorsese. You should have listened to me when I said that The Aviator was too damn long. Uh oh, with the Eastwood win, I�m thinking this does not bode well for an Aviator Best Picture win. My Oscar pool � my poor, poor Oscar pool.

11:38 PM: Million Dollar Baby. Eh, that�s fine. Whatever.

11:40 PM: Wow - I can�t believe the show is already over! Cates actually did cut it down a little. (Thanks to the exclusion of the unnecessary clip shows celebrating things we don�t care about) So overall, as Mary �Gilbeaux� Roche would say, �Not too shabby.� The only thing that�s weird is how seldom we saw Chris Rock. It�s hard to even rate him as a host. But it was a good show nonetheless. And now I can go to bed early. Who knew?

Catch you next year!

(My comments are a little hinky for a couple of days, so if they don�t work, hit up the guestbook!)


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





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