Everything's More Fun In Pigtails!
2006-05-09 || The Leto & The Gingerdead Man

Oh. My. God.

The world is not ready, you guys. I would say my goodbyes to my loved ones, because the world may explode tomorrow. I�m just saying. I don�t mean to be all Chicken Little over here, but there is an event taking place tomorrow whose effects could simply turn the world into a ball of energy. You see, tomorrow I am meeting The Leto. (For those who don�t know, Jared Leto has held the title of �Male Celebrity Pam Finds The Hottest� since 1994.) He�s one of my longest running Celebrity Boyfriends, and tomorrow I shall speak to him. Hold on, I need to compose myself.... askldlhjahjdhafhfohslnfjkshfuiah vkikjajf

Sorry, I must have passed out for a moment there.

Okay, back to tomorrow. Here�s what I learned last week: sometimes it pays to be home on a Friday night because then you can revert to being 12 and calling radio stations to win contests. That�s what happened. I had to listen for a sound clip between the hours of 8 and 9 PM and then be the first person to call when it was played. I heard it, I called, and I won. And what did I win, exactly? 2 tickets, a soundcheck party and meet n� greet passes for the 30 Seconds to Mars concert tomorrow night. Hells yeah! And there were only going to be 12 winners, so there will only be 24 people there. That�s not bad at all. Plenty of time for me to molest Jared. So stay tuned for pictures and stories!

If anyone needs me tomorrow, I�ll be hanging with Jordan Catalano.... (Should I ask about Tino?)

_______________________________________

In other news, Frito and I rented The Gingerdead Man last night, and it was completely ridiculous. Not that we didn�t expect it to be, but it was more ridiculous than we thought it would be. First of all, the movie is 70 minutes long and it�s not animated, so that should give you a clue as to how good it is. Gary Busey plays a guy who kills a teen�s father and brother in front of her, but lets her live. (The family owns a bakery, and the teen�s name is �Sarah Leigh.�) You then find out from seeing Sarah looking at a newspaper article that Busey has been executed in the electric chair and that he was then cremated. His mother brings his ashes to the bakery in a box labeled �Grandma�s Gingerbread Seasoning� � and really, there is no such thing as �gingerbread seasoning,� but that is really the least of your worries when watching this movie. The special seasoning is added to the big vat of gingerbread mix, and shortly thereafter one of the bakers cuts himself on a knife. Now, if you work in a bakery and someone starts bleeding, do you have that person prop his bleeding arm up over the open dough container so that his blood can drop inside everyone�s food? You don�t? Huh. Well, that�s what these morons do, and the baker�s blood makes the spirit of Busey come alive so when Sarah bakes a gingerbread man, he turns into a 12 inch killing machine, out to get revenge. Oh yes, he is 12 inches tall and people are running from him. STEP ON HIM. He�s 12 inches tall, for crying out loud. But he�s a talented cookie, as he can drive cars and knife people, and even hold and shoot a gun with his little mitten hands. And he is voiced by Busey, spouting off lines that would make even Mr. Freeze cringe. I particularly like one scene where the Gingerdead Man is randomly telling off a rat, as if the rat can understand him. �Hey you! Rat boy! You want a piece of me? Hey! I�m talking to you! Fuck off!� It�s hilarious. However, the best line of the movie occurs right at the beginning, when Sarah is talking to pictures of her dead brother. She tells him that she hopes there�s a better place for him, �with strippers and Lonestar.� Awesome. That�s what I�m hoping for when I die: strippers and someone singing, �Baby, I�m amazed by you,� on a continuous loop. Kill me now.

So yeah, this movie doesn�t really qualify as a �so-bad it�s good� pick � it�s just bad. Hey, I watch them so you don�t have to. And, as Frito put it, �You see one killer gingerbread man movie, you�ve seen them all.� Word.


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile


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