Yes, I know it’s lame, but it’s cold - I’m not wearing a gown. Let’s just get to it – and once again I am boycotting the pre-show. Shall we?

8:33 PM: Is anyone besides me hoping for a CB4 shout-out in this opening montage?

8:34 PM: Standing ovation for Chris Rock? Hmmm…. I’m reserving judgment.

8:39 PM: Is Spike Lee still wearing his safety goggles from basketball?

8:43 PM: Ooh, nice Halle Berry Catwoman smackdown. Okay, I’m starting to like it, Rock. Good monologue.

8:44 PM: Shaved-head Jake Gyllenhaal??? WHY?????

8:47 PM: A stunningly dressed Zellweger and Best Supporting Actor – Morgan Freeman, I can deal with that. The scarf has got to go, though. Classy speech from a classy guy. Well played, Mr. Freeman.

8:51 PM: I love the Oscars announcer laughing when she said Drew Barrymore was coming up. She’s all, “Drew Barrymore at the Oscars? What the hell? Did people SEE Home Fries? It blew!”

8:54 PM: Robin Williams – sorry, but HATE! God, he bugs.

9:00 PM: Oh, this in-the-audience nonsense is foolish. Let the people go on stage. It’s the Oscars, for crying out loud. Oh, how ridiculous. Gil Cates, you suck.

9:03 PM: The French song sung by Beyonce? Come ON. Yes, because when I think of French chanteuse, I think Knowles. If you’re not going to let the ACTUAL artist perform it, at least get Celine Dion. Was she really that costly, people? Hell, Shania Twain is Canadian, she probably knows some French.

9:08 PM: Commercials. Oh, Andie MacDowell – I kinda miss you. Come back to movies. You rocked Four Weddings and a Funeral and Sex, Lies and Videotape.

9:13 PM: Is a relative of John Wilkes Booth planning something for Scarlett Johansson? Why is she in that box? And WHY is she wearing a tiara?

9:20 PM: Best Supporting Actress – Cate Blanchett! Sweet! She rocks.

9:29 PM: I really want to give Leonardo DiCaprio a new hairdo.

9:32 PM: Speaking of hairdos, I covet Kirsten Dunst’s.

9:35 PM: I like The Counting Crows and all, but why are all of these woman all over Adam Duritz? Aniston and Courteney Cox – THIS is hot? He looks like Sideshow Bob’s brother. Although I must say that the line “And all at once you look across a crowded room/And see the way that light attaches to a girl” from A Long December makes me swoon. But still – Sideshow Bob. Or that thing I use to get rid of spider webs in the ceiling corners.

9:46 PM: Okay, Gyllenhaal is still hot with no hair. Like Cherita, I *heart* Donnie Darko.

9:50 PM: Why is it that I still can’t look at Al Pacino without yelling, “Hoowa!”?

9:54 PM: Sidney Lumet, blah blah blah. I’ll use this time to tell you all that I am thoroughly enjoying my Jones Soda in Blue Bubble Gum flavor that I bought on a whim today.

9:59 PM: This honorary Oscar crap is still going o…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10:03 PM: Commercials. I don’t even clean and I long for a Dyson vacuum cleaner.

10:05 PM: I want that monkey on the top of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s piano! Speaking of Webber, he’s looking MIGHTY waxy tonight. Geez. Oh, great. Beyonce again. Is that Jigga in the Phantom costume? Because that would be AWESOME. I also think Beyonce is wearing the chandelier from Phantom as her necklace.

10:10 PM: Oh, this audience nonsense again. What? Harold and Kumar? I wish. “And the winner of best love montage with a bag of pot goes to….” “Best use of Neil Patrick Harris – what do you know, it’s Harold and Kumar again!” Now that’s MY kind of Oscars.

10:14 PM: “Thank you for this Oscar. And my mom has been in the hospital for 45 days, so there’s that. Have a great night!” - Sing it with me if you know it: Un. Comfortable!

10:21 PM: Hayek and Cruz – proving that yes, they are interchangeable.

10:27 PM: Wait a minute – so Antonio Banderas is supposed to be a DRAW for the young and hip demo? Please. One Puss in Boots is not going to make up for the rest of his career. Spy Kids, anyone? I really want to wash his hair.

10:34 PM: Commercials. Damn, Stamos is looking better with age. H-h-h-h-hot!

10:35 PM: Why does Natalie Portman sound so angry? She is pissed! Pretty dress, though.

10:38 PM: I don’t mean to be mean to the long-winded winners of the Documentary Short Subject, but seriously, WE DON’T CARE. Shut it. Leave that time for Jamie Foxx’s speech.

10:39 PM: Still not understanding Scarlett Johansson’s tiara.

10:40 PM: And hellooooo Johnny Depp. Hot guy, ugly suit. I’ll forgive it, though, because, well, Johnny Depp.

10:44 PM: Humanitarian Awar…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10:51 PM: Am I the only one who finds the applause tacky during the ‘In Memoriam’ segment? I went to a wake the other night and no one was clapping there. Tacky!

10:56 PM: P. Diddy? Really?

10:57 PM: Groban – FINALLY. Get out of there, Beyonce! Haven’t you hogged enough?

11:00 PM: Prince – what are those PANTS? He looks so thrilled to be there.

11:01 PM: That Banderas song one? That must have been one hell of a recording with the original artist. Also? Best. Acceptance. Speech. EVER.

11:03 PM: Memo to Sean Penn – it’s called a JOKE. God. Best Actress already? Okay, let’s do it then. Why is Bening bugging me so much lately? I kind of hope she loses. Aaaaand she did. Ooh, she looks pissed! Hilary Swank is so her Newman. Swank? Yeah, I can deal with that. I like her when she’s not parading around her half-naked body all, “But look! I’m NOT a guy!”

11:14 PM: I’m just noticing that I’m getting KILLED in my Oscar pool. This is so not my year. Oh hey, but I got Foreign Language Film. Go me?

11:16 PM: Original Screenplay – if Kaufman doesn’t win, I may have a mini-riot right here. YES!!!!!!! Why didn’t they have Seth Green play him in Adaptation? Wow, he is weird ‘fro Seth Green.

11:22 PM: Best Actor – Okay, time for Jamie Foxx, baby. Camera Guy: “Let’s cut to all of the black people when he wins.” Meanwhile, at home, every Wayans is crying. Still? Awesome and well-deserved.

11:32 PM: Hey, Julia Roberts finally got her Brockovich boobs!

11:33 PM: Aww, poor Martin Scorsese. You should have listened to me when I said that The Aviator was too damn long. Uh oh, with the Eastwood win, I’m thinking this does not bode well for an Aviator Best Picture win. My Oscar pool – my poor, poor Oscar pool.

11:38 PM: Million Dollar Baby. Eh, that’s fine. Whatever.

11:40 PM: Wow - I can’t believe the show is already over! Cates actually did cut it down a little. (Thanks to the exclusion of the unnecessary clip shows celebrating things we don’t care about) So overall, as Mary “Gilbeaux” Roche would say, “Not too shabby.” The only thing that’s weird is how seldom we saw Chris Rock. It’s hard to even rate him as a host. But it was a good show nonetheless. And now I can go to bed early. Who knew?

Catch you next year!

(My comments are a little hinky for a couple of days, so if they don’t work, hit up the guestbook!)


before & after





2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
2006-09-14 - An Entry About Hall & Oates? Really?





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.