Everything's More Fun In Pigtails! | |
2004-01-08 || Just Another Manic...Thursday? | |
It�s only 9:20 in the morning and this is how my day has gone so far: 6:15 AM - Get up early in hopes of getting to work early today to start packing up my desk. 7:20 AM - In effort to gain weight, chug a Carnation Instant Breakfast instead of nibbling on mini coffee cakes. 7:25 AM - Remember why I can�t tolerate such rich breakfasts when I am suddenly riddled with nausea. 7:30 AM - Sit down and read the paper while waiting for my Maalox and anti-nausea pills to kick in � still have some extra time. 7:46 AM - Finally leave for work 4 minutes before regular time. 8:10 AM - Sail along merrily until I hit the second bridge and notice a line coming from the tollbooth. Look ahead and see a parade of parked cars. Curse. Call work. 8:14 AM � Finally make my way to basket to pay toll. Curse again. 8:19 AM � Finally start on bridge. Realize that I have to pee. Curse. 8:25 AM � I�ve moved about 100 feet. REALLY have to pee. Curse. Think of morganzola�s parking garage fiasco. Laugh. Curse again because laughing makes me have to pee more. 8:27 AM � Imagine headlines that proclaim, �Woman�s bladder explodes while trapped on bridge!� 8:30 AM � Pass disabled truck and praise my bladder for holding on. 8:32 AM � Scream to no one in particular, �You�re not serious. I�ve been working here for 11 months and have never run into a school bus. No! Not the flashing red lights!� Curse loudly and repeatedly.
8:35 AM � Arrive at work. Get slapped in the face with a gust of wind with the ever-pleasant wind-chill of zero degrees. Curse once more. 8:36 AM � Pee. Glorious pee. 8:39 AM - See G McG and almost laugh in his face. Hear the 'Soul Glo' jingle in my head as I examine his out of control curls. Be proud that I fired him 2 weeks ago. After talking to him, remember why. Sass him and think things are finally looking up�. 9:15 AM � Burn tongue drinking hot HOT tea. Curse and call the day a loss.
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