Lucy and I braved pointing fingers, laughing and criticism last night to go check out Clay Aiken�s Christmas concert. Hell, I�m not ashamed. I�ve been a fan of little Clayton�s from the beginning. His first album leaves a lot to be desired, save for about 3 songs, but his Christmas CD rocks, so I was very happy to go see a concert full of those songs. And it still holds true � that boy can sing. And happily, I came up with some new inappropriate gestures just for Clay. (I�m keeping the �Back that ass up� gestures for Groban. Clay gets little grabby butt hands.) Anyway, Lucy and I had a ball, and I figured I�d share some highlights from our night. Shall we?
First of all, the concert was supposed to begin at 7:30. We arrived at the theater at 7:05 to find throngs of people lined up on all sides of the building. For some unknown reason, they had just opened the doors inside. It took us until 7:25 just to get inside the first set of doors and into the building. It was 25 degrees outside. Not pretty.
PAM: Do you think they are doing this to us to get us into the Christmas spirit or something?
LUCY: If they are, it�s not working. I�m just getting crotchety.
PAM: This is like the 12 Pains of Christmas. �Rigging up the lights�.�
LUCY: �Aww geez, look at this�.�
PAM: I can�t feel my feet.
LUCY: My ears!
PAM: I think we should ask them to play Invisible tonight so we can run up on stage and do our own version. �If I was an icicle�.�
LUCY: �I�m getting hypothermia�.�
PAM: �If I was an icicle, I�d break in two tonight. Thaw out....�
LUCY: �If I was an icicle � wait, I already am.�
We finally started moving before Lucy and I could come up with a whole verse. The crowd was an interesting mix. It was a mostly older crowd, with a few kiddies thrown in, but not too many teenyboppers. Thankfully, there were no screamers in the crowd. It was mostly women, but there were also a few gay men. Oh, and the girls who dragged their put-upon boyfriends. We had one couple like that in front of us. The girl sat there rapt the whole time while he sat back with his arms crossed, looking pissed the whole night.
LUCY: Check out the angry boyfriend.
PAM: Awesome. He�s totally demanding sex for this.
LUCY: Oh, hell yeah. �Woman, you�re going to let me try new things tonight after that.�
PAM: He�s going to ask for a blow job as soon as they get in the car.
LUCY: Look at him, he�s all �I am tying this bitch up tonight. We�re getting freaky. Friggin� Clay Aiken concert. Hmmph!�
PAM: Oh, he�s totally doing the �Hmmph!�
[Later, the girlfriend got up and left when Clay announced his final song, leaving the guy still there.]
PAM: Where is she going?
LUCY: He�s probably making her go get the car.
PAM: Bitch, you have that ride pulled right up front.
LUCY: Hee!
Here�s some highlights from other parts of the show:
CLAY: Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the Yuletide gay�.�
PAM: Those two cute guys over there are all, �Already have!�
LUCY: We�re faaaabulous!
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PAM: Look at those humongous feet on Clay.
LUCY: They look unnatural.
PAM: I wonder what he�s got in there to go along with those.
LUCY: I know.
PAM: Do you think anyone else is having this same conversation right now?
LUCY: Nope.
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LUCY: Oh no, he shouldn�t try to dance. Ever.
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CLAY: �Although it�s been said many times, many ways�.�
PAM & LUCY: Awww.
LUCY: I think I just got a cavity from listening to all of this.
The most ridiculous part of the night came during the final song. It had been a relatively subdued crowd all night, however there was this woman in the row in front of us who would yell out, �I love you Clay!� every few songs. She looked to be in about her early forties, and her friends looked mortified the entire time. Well, Clay holds this big glory note (tm Shack) at the end of the song, and mayhem just erupted. The woman in front of us jumped up out of her seat and just started screaming, and I looked down and saw waves of older women just going crazy and screaming. I felt like I was at Oprah. �You get a car, you get a car!� I could NOT stop laughing. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. It wasn�t like a Tom Jones concert where they�d be throwing underwear. These women just want to take care of Clay like a son (or grandson in most cases). It was unreal. These people were going completely apeshit over one note. It was glorious to watch. Ah, Clay. Always something amusing going on there. He�s got a concert airing on NBC on Wednesday, so check it out if you get a chance. (Or, if you�re me, TiVo it. Come on, Lost and ANTM are on.) In the meantime, I�m off to try to remember the words to our masterpiece. �Yes, I�m an icicle � I�ll freeze my ass tonight�.�
before & after
2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.