Let�s get ready to do this shit.

I must admit 2 things up front before the show starts: 1) I prefer this to the VMA�s simply because I know who everyone is on this show. There�s no Yin Yang Twins causing �Who?!� moments, so it doesn�t make me feel ridiculously old, and 2) I�m not the biggest Jessica Alba fan. She�s as exciting to me as�paper or something. She�s just�I don�t know. I don�t really see her having a mass appeal with the female audience the way a Mandy Moore would. Or, Lindsay Lohan when she hosted a few years ago. It was before the uber-skinny, so her knockers had the guy viewers and Mean Girls had the chicks. But Alba? Is Idle Hands really attracting the females? Please tell me it�s not Honey. And the only reason I would have seen Into the Blue is for half-naked Paul Walker, and even that didn�t lure me. So I�m not holding out much hope for her hosting, but at least it can�t be worse than The Wayans brothers, right?

4 minutes until showtime, and I�ve got the pre-show on and have already made myself look like a fool for bragging about knowing who everyone is, because Wolfmother? WHO? Oh God, I�m old.

Showtime. Shall we?

- Topher AND Flav? Sweet. Stupid opening, though. They�ve done WAY better. I wonder how long it is before Andy Dick shows up in one of them. HA! He was just in the opening credits. Gotta love it. I think that�s all he does these days is star in MTV spoofs for their awards shows.

- Is it just me, or is Kevin Spacey kind of a hag now?

- Christian Bale � HELL YEAH. I wish he went off on a tangent about the merits of Sssussudio or Huey Lewis in his acceptance speech, though.

- Anna Faris, those shorts are ridiculous.

- I�m kind of over Jamie Foxx. Way over. Although even if I wasn�t, I still wouldn�t see Miami Vice.

- Okay, that commercial with the kid asking his dad if he uses condoms is just creepy.

- How I love the Jakey.

- Aaaaaannnnd there�s Andy Dick.

- This DaVinci Code parody is never-ending. Hey, sort of like the movie!

- Gnarls Barkley side-tangent: Whenever I hear their name, I always start thinking about whether or not anyone still watches the NBA. Do they? I haven�t watched a pro-basketball game in years. But back in the day, I used to go to people�s houses to watch the playoffs. What happened? I had a Chris Webber t-shirt! I had jerseys for my favorite players! I once went to a McDonald�s drive-thru during the Dream Team 2 days and asked, �Can I get that Coke in a Reggie Miller cup?� I was in the Christian Laettner fan club! Well, actually, that one was just because he was hot. But I went to see him at the Boston Garden and I wore a foam finger! FOAM FINGER!! Really, what happened? Remember the original Dream Team days? People were crazy for basketball back then! I used to play NBA Jams all the time and I knew who all of the players were. Now I�m lucky if I know 2 who haven�t been arrested for rape. Poor basketball.

- Best Villain � I�d better see some Cillian Murphy up in these nominees. First one! God, I love that man. I know I�ve talked about the Cillian a few times before, but I finally got to see Breakfast on Pluto this week, and holy HELL is that boy hot. People think he�s creepy or goofy, but I think he is utterly gorgeous. I involuntarily exclaim all over the place when I watch him. Hayden Christensen won??!! Really? He�s the worst thing to happen to Star Wars. No Yellow Bastard in the nominees? Bleah.

- Did I mention how boring I find Jessica Alba? She�s now officially worse than paper. I don�t know why I even picked paper in the first place, but there it is. More boring than paper. She�s like sardines. I don�t even know what I�m talking about anymore � why do these shows make me so punchy? Has anything even happened yet?

- Don�t tell anyone, but I can�t WAIT for The Lake House. It looks like a good weeper.

- Ooh, more Cillian in the Red Eye clip. More Cillian is always a good thing. Ooh, Joaquin! My favorite creep.

- These movie spoofs suck this year. And Alba really can�t do comedy. WHY ARE THEY SO LONG???? Didn�t I spend 2 weeks in the theater watching King King already? WHY MORE???

- T.I.: Okay, so I don�t really know anything about him, but at least I�ve heard of him, Wolfmother.

- Xtina! I�m dying for her album. Man, I love her skanky ass. Ooh, and her sax player! She rules.

- I really have absolutely no desire to see Nacho Libre. A little Jack Black goes a loooong way for me.

- LL! I just saw his House episode this week. My favorite performance of his will still always be the video for I�m the Type of Guy. Remember that whole robbery video? �T-Y-P-E G-U-Y, I�m the type of guy�.� And remember that 4 year-span when he kept showing up at awards shows and things performing Mama Said Knock You Out? We�d finished calling it a comeback ages ago, but he just kept yelling at us about it.

- Do The Right Thing - I used to be such a Spike Lee fan that I got my mom to write me a note to get out of school early to attend the matinee of Jungle Fever on opening day. I believe I wore my Mookie t-shirt that day.

- Tokyo Drift � come on now.

- It can�t just be me � Jessica Alba really is bad at this, isn�t she?

- I don�t get the Dane Cook thing at all. Am I old? Is that it? The only funny thing I�ve seen him in is the Target sketch on SNL, and that really had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Kristen Wiig. �Do we have more of these?�

- I have a strange affinity for Ludacris, and I have no idea why. Love the Luda.

- Do they not repeat the movie awards on MTV enough that someone has to go watch clips online? Just tune in anytime in the next 2 weeks and you�re bound to catch it 98% of the time. The rest of the time? The Hills.

- That�s it? Wedding Crashers - kind of a given, even though The 40 Year-Old Virgin was better. Sorry, Wolfmother � no post-show for me. Bed! Catch you next year�.


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.