Dear EA Games:You certainly are a wily little one, aren�t you? You know just how to take my life away. How do you do that so well? Why are you so diabolical? What do you want from me? Does it please you to turn people into addicts? Is that your thing? Because I just want to tell you that it has worked yet again. But you knew it would anyway. So I give up, I�m surrendering. After my trip to the store on September 17th you will not find me anywhere outside the confines of my home for the next say, eight hours or so. I�ll pretty much only leave my computer chair for bathroom breaks and to grab food to bring back up to eat in front of the computer. And why is this? Because you had me at �Como las nana?� with your screen captures and preview video from The Sims 2, and that is the release date. You know how I was with the first one. It was bad. I was always itching for a fix. And now - now you come up with a sequel that sounds even better than the first. You little bastards. So fine, here, take my life. I am your servant and slave to the game. Are you happy now?
Sincerely,
The Best SuperSpy The Sims Has Ever Seen.
Seriously, y�all � I used to have a big Sims problem. I got sucked in after watching my brother play. The day I bought it for myself I actually did end up playing it for 8 hours straight. The whole first month that I had it I was at its mercy. I had taken a breather from it for a while after Hot Date came out, but the pending release of the sequel got me to pull it out a couple of weekends ago. I was clean for so long, but that demon was calling. The last two Sundays I�ve been playing it, and it is still as addictive as ever. I think I may be chasing the Sims dragon again. While I was playing last weekend, my mother kept telling me to eat dinner, but I kept putting it off. I told her (quite plainly as if it was the most normal thing in the world), �I can�t! We�re trying to have a baby and we seem to be having fertility issues. I don�t work, so I need something to keep my Sim busy. Later on I�m going on a date with Angelina Jolie just to get out of the house. But don�t worry, we�re just friends. What? Taylor [Hanson, my husband] is getting a little too chummy with Jack Skellington. I�m just trying to get back at him.� Mom: [concerned look] About an hour later, I was still playing and got the dinner reminder again. This time it was, �I�ll be up in a few minutes. We finally had a baby and I have to get through the three days to make sure my son doesn�t grow up to be nerdy looking. I HAVE TO KNOW.� I think this all stems from the fact that in his game, my brother had a child with his wife Britney (gag) who came out looking like Harry Potter before he became a wizard. He had the thick black glasses and these dirty jeans on. My brother also turned him into his slave. His Sim would be sound asleep in bed, tra-la-la, and his kid would be up at 2AM emptying the trash. So I had to make sure my kid was normal. I couldn�t wait until the next day to find out - I HAD TO KNOW. It�s a sickness, really. The next day I showed up to work with a sore back from the stupid little chair I have down at my old computer in the basement. That�s where all of my Sims files are, so I just play it down there so I don�t lose all of the downloads that I have. I�ll put the new game where the comfortable chair is, because the downloads aren�t compatible. My back will thank me. I�m just hoping I get the money cheat for the new game before I get it so I can keep my Sims in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed. I love the money cheat. If our love were legal, I just might marry it.
I think the thing I love the most about the addictive beast of the Sims is the way I talk about it. In all of my different neighborhoods, I always play as myself. The Pam Sim always has the best house and the best parties. [I only know about the party part because Drew Carey showed up to one of them. Wait, does that really make it a good party? Because I�m not sure Drew Carey would be high on my list of people to invite to a rockin� party. Well, unless we�re talking about The Good Life era Drew Carey, because I LOVED that show. Does anyone else remember it? �You watched an arm wrestling movie? What are you, simple?� LOVE.] Anyway, the manner in which I speak of the Sims is my favorite part about the whole thing, because I do talk about it like everything my Sim does is real and completely normal. Here are some of the �normal� situations from my past addiction:
1. My first neighborhood in my Sims game is still considered to be my �real� Sim life. This is my favorite house, and I actually did play the game the right way for a long time before I found out about the money cheat. I worked hard to get to the top of a number of professions, finally settling on the Super Spy one because I got to wear a super sexy black leather-looking jumpsuit to work. I�m married to my true Sim love, Taylor Hanson, and we have a son named Christopher, the product of a drunken night spent up in our designated �lovin�� room (complete with flame wallpaper). When Christopher emerged from his time as a baby, he appeared wearing a star-covered cape, which my mother noted was the only way a child of mine would turn out. True, that. My husband Taylor is a certified rock star, complete with gold pants that he puts on to go to work. We even have a framed photo of him singing hanging in our bedroom. My best friends are Jack Skellington and a clown named Clowny, who spends most of his time tickling me. Mr. T lives next door, in a house with a large letter �T� spelled out in cement on his lawn. We have a robot who cleans, cooks, and fixes things. It�s a good life. It�s my true home.
2. Neighborhood #2 is rarely used, as it is the neighborhood I decided to play in without using the money cheat. Taylor and I are dirt poor in a little shoebox house, but we�re happy. And the Grinch lives next door, which is always a plus. But like I said, I didn�t spend much time here � I much preferred neighborhood 3�.
3. Ah, neighborhood #3. This is where I started to turn into a slutty Sim. For some reason, the Sim who always likes me the most in any neighborhood is Taylor, so we married pretty quickly. However, Stephen Dorff started sniffing around while Taylor was at work, and soon we were swept up in a whirlwind romance. We married quickly and I made sure he and Taylor worked different shifts so I could keep them apart. I�d take turns sleeping in each bed. However, then Jimmy Fallon showed up on the scene and my Sim became enamored of him. Thinking stupidly that 3 husbands were better than 2, Jimmy and I married, causing me to build on yet another bedroom in the back of the house. But the cracks were starting to show in the Dorff romance. We were just crazy kids who married too soon, while we were still in the infatuation phase. One night when a friend of mine was visiting, he started talking to her and they hit it off famously. The next day he left me to go marry her. But Stephen and I stayed friends after that. His leaving was all for the best, though, because a big scandal was coming. Soon after Stephen left, Taylor and I had a son who grew up to look a little too much like Jimmy Fallon. The true love and gentleman that he is, Taylor never mentioned this to me and we continued to live in pure happiness. So did �Uncle Jimmy� and I.
4. Neighborhood #4 is where I truly embraced my Inner Slut. This is the home of my one single Sim, and she juggles more men than she knows what to do with. Some nights she�ll have one man over for an early dinner and some bed play, and then send him off into the night only to have another one come for a nightcap and some late-night nookie. I think on last look she was currently banging Taylor, Gavin Rossdale, Tom Cavanagh, Jared Leto, and a random hot skater guy. Vicarious living at its finest.
I think neighborhoods 5 and 6 were just bad experiments that I used once or twice to see if I could put in real-life guys I had crushes on to see if we�d get together. Yes, I am pathetic and so very sad.
The newest neighborhood is number 7, where I am currently unemployed. Out of my 15 neighbors, the first one to come over to meet me was Taylor. We then met up again while I was shopping downtown and had an amazing date. Soon after, it was clear to me that he was the one, so we married. I tried to entertain offers from other Sims, but my heart always lied with Taylor. We just had a son named Jack, who thankfully turned out normal. He spends his time playing with the 3 children who live down the street with their guardian, Chewbacca. Taylor�s best friends are Jack Skellington and his brother, Isaac. He is currently slaving away as a piano tuner while I stay home all day and watch TV and take bubble baths. Sometimes I go into town to shop with my best friend, Angelina Jolie. However, the last time she came over for dinner, she waited until Taylor went to work and then started to put the moves on me. She started dancing with me and the next thing I knew we were in bed together. When we were done, she got up and cried, as she must have seen the picture of Taylor on the wall and known that my heart would never be hers. I�m still claiming that she slipped me a mickey. (Let this madness be a warning to anyone who has never played the game and plans to. Seriously, you don't start out this crazy. It's the game. No, really! Well, yeah, I had a head start going in, but still.)
Now I�m looking forward to the whole aging thing in the new game. I can�t wait to see the Pam Sim as a teen, as that is pretty much my mental age range anyway. Woo! Stay tuned�and if you need me anytime after September 17th, you�ll know where to find me. Damn you, EA Games!!!
Non-Diaryland Link of the Day: The Sims Resource
Home to some of the best downloads to make your Sims and their houses look spiffy.
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before & after
2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.