I went to see Love Actually tonight, and there's something that was said in the film that is sticking with me. Liam Neeson's little stepson complains about the agony of being in love. To that little boy, I have but one thing to say: Shit, yeah. Can I get an amen?? Hell yeah. Also? Word.

The upcoming holidays signal the beginning of the season where single folks such as myself are reminded how much it sucks ass not to have someone under the mistletoe. Thank you, everyone else. Gah. I never used to mind it at all. I've always been perfectly content and used to being on my own. Then last year happened and it changed my whole perspective on the matter. I can no longer breeze through the holidays with such blind cheer as I always did. Now they are tainted. Tainted, I tell you! It's pretty much inevitable that his name is going to be brought up on Thursday. I'm betting on my aunt Jane to do the honors. I hope my wincing at the sound of it isn't too obvious. It's been months and months now, I should be over it. But, for some strange reason, the little troll who controls such things just refuses to leave. Am I that much of a comfortable place to reside? I didn't think so, but everytime I think I am solid and good to go, I'll catch a glimpse of the troll over in the corner, a crooked finger calling me over. He's sitting there with that stupid smirk on his face, laughing at my foolishness, preying on my weakness. But I'm strong now, so just go! Look at me, I'm Strong Girl! Can't you see that? I should be in the center of the Strong Girl Calendar, with a barbell in my hand and a huge smile on my face to demonstrate just how strong and happy I am!! I'm Miss September! Look at me, don't you see it? Don't you??? I'm tired of you and your sneak attacks. Please, just go. Torment someone else, because I'm done. Move along, now. Here's a drumstick for the road.

And I really am doing remarkably well these days. You should have seen me in March. Not pretty, people. But there is still a little part in the way back of my head where things sometimes awaken and niggle at me. Wait, is that a word? Niggle? Ah, who the hell cares. This entry crossed over into "I think she may be talking nonsense" territory 5 lines in. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the niggling. I just wish for the next 6 weeks or so, I could just go back to the 2001 Me. That would be so, so fabulous. Blissfully unaware, loving the non-tainted holidays, etc. I definitely don't want any mistakes made with the flux capacitor, though. I want to make sure I don't get sent back to 2002 Me by mistake. She was at the beginning of the saddest 3 months of her life. And although I believe 2003 Me will be just fine, thank you, I didn't want to take any chances. I just wanted to be really sure that I was going to be fine. You never know when the troll will get angry and start to rattle his cage. I don't want the troll to remind me that "he" is out there somewhere celebrating the holidays. Him, the one I just assumed I would be celebrating decades of holidays with. He's out there celebrating right now. And he's doing it without me. Could you pass the carrots, please?

Gah.

You know what? Frig this. I'm kicking the troll's ass out and I'm changing the locks. I'm going to have a kick ass Thanksgiving, and there's nothing he can do about it. So there. Neener!

Sorry about the rambling tonight. It felt good, though. And to the little boy in Love Actually? Preach on. Also? It gets better. I promise.

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Rodrigo Santoro
I first noticed him in the second Charlie's Angels movie, and he became my boyfriend tonight after seeing him as Laura Linney's love interest in Love Actually. Hot damn, baby.

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before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





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