I’m actually home today, taking what I am calling a ‘mental health day’ because I couldn’t stand to go to work. The worst thing in the world for me is to be bored senseless at work. I’ve found there is a burden to being efficient, and the boredom is it. I’ve tried to take my time working on stuff, but it’s just not in my nature. I am the scorpion in the fable – I have a pile of work to do and I do it right then because I have to. It’s my nature. I’ve always been of the mindset of “Work now, slack later.” It has always served me well up until now. I make sure all my work is done and then I have no guilt when I goof off. But lately things at my job have slowed down. We have a new worker training who is taking some of everyone’s work to do. This is not good for me at all.

It’s no secret to people around me that I’m not real fond of my job to begin with, but I don’t really complain because it’s pretty good money and good benefits. I know I could be doing a lot worse. But it’s in a field that is pretty much the opposite of anything I would ever want to be doing. There is no creativity involved at all, which is the worst part for me. But for the past few years, I’ve been making up for the creativity-stifling at work by doing my creative stuff on the side. That hasn’t been so bad, but lately work has just been getting to me. I think some of it is due to the fact that I’m getting older and finally realizing it and waking up and saying to myself, “Whoa, wait – THIS is my life? Oh, hell no.” So now the issue is how to change it.

Unfortunately, one of the other stigmas of getting older is losing the sense of fantasy and the whole “chase your dreams” thing. It certainly loses its luster over the years. In place of the whole fantasy of being able to do whatever I want, reality starts to settle in. I have to think and consider certain factors now that I really wouldn’t have given two shits about when I was 21. Back then it was nice to be a little innocent, thinking that if I had a job that I loved, I could do anything I wanted. I could move out, I could afford health care, I could rule the world!! Yeah, um, not so much. Now that I’m a little older and reality has dug its evil talons into my skin, the first thing I consider when thinking about changing jobs is health care. I have to own up to the fact that yeah, I’m not the healthiest person in the world, and I need a GOOD plan. I have the best plan offered in the state right now and I still had to pay $77 in copays yesterday for prescriptions yesterday. And that’s not even everything that I take. However, my job involves medical assistance for the needy, so I know just how lucky I am with tha plan that I have. No complaints here. It’s just that it sucks to have to think of that first. But hey, it’s a fact of life. What was it that wise person once said about that? Oh yes, “You take the good, you take the bad, you take it all and there you have the facts of life.” Word.

Anyhoo, I also need to factor in the fact that I have a relatively useless degree when I look for work. Sure, I graduated from college with honors, but I am also the proud owner of a Bachelor’s Degree in film studies with a minor in writing. I might as well have a degree in Turdology. Ah, the benefits of a few years and a whole lot of hindsight – now I know what I should have been thinking when I chose that course of studies: “What in the HELL am I going to do with that?” But actually, I probably wouldn’t have changed things. I just would have had a better plan when I graduated. Now I think it’s time to revisit that chapter in my life just a bit and make a plan.

It sounds so easy. Just make a plan. Easy, right? Yeah, right.

Kinda scary.

Non-Diaryland Link of the Day: Shmuel's Page
Home of my pal (and karaoke singer extraordinaire!)

before & after





2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
2006-09-14 - An Entry About Hall & Oates? Really?





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.