I�m actually home today, taking what I am calling a �mental health day� because I couldn�t stand to go to work. The worst thing in the world for me is to be bored senseless at work. I�ve found there is a burden to being efficient, and the boredom is it. I�ve tried to take my time working on stuff, but it�s just not in my nature. I am the scorpion in the fable � I have a pile of work to do and I do it right then because I have to. It�s my nature. I�ve always been of the mindset of �Work now, slack later.� It has always served me well up until now. I make sure all my work is done and then I have no guilt when I goof off. But lately things at my job have slowed down. We have a new worker training who is taking some of everyone�s work to do. This is not good for me at all.

It�s no secret to people around me that I�m not real fond of my job to begin with, but I don�t really complain because it�s pretty good money and good benefits. I know I could be doing a lot worse. But it�s in a field that is pretty much the opposite of anything I would ever want to be doing. There is no creativity involved at all, which is the worst part for me. But for the past few years, I�ve been making up for the creativity-stifling at work by doing my creative stuff on the side. That hasn�t been so bad, but lately work has just been getting to me. I think some of it is due to the fact that I�m getting older and finally realizing it and waking up and saying to myself, �Whoa, wait � THIS is my life? Oh, hell no.� So now the issue is how to change it.

Unfortunately, one of the other stigmas of getting older is losing the sense of fantasy and the whole �chase your dreams� thing. It certainly loses its luster over the years. In place of the whole fantasy of being able to do whatever I want, reality starts to settle in. I have to think and consider certain factors now that I really wouldn�t have given two shits about when I was 21. Back then it was nice to be a little innocent, thinking that if I had a job that I loved, I could do anything I wanted. I could move out, I could afford health care, I could rule the world!! Yeah, um, not so much. Now that I�m a little older and reality has dug its evil talons into my skin, the first thing I consider when thinking about changing jobs is health care. I have to own up to the fact that yeah, I�m not the healthiest person in the world, and I need a GOOD plan. I have the best plan offered in the state right now and I still had to pay $77 in copays yesterday for prescriptions yesterday. And that�s not even everything that I take. However, my job involves medical assistance for the needy, so I know just how lucky I am with tha plan that I have. No complaints here. It�s just that it sucks to have to think of that first. But hey, it�s a fact of life. What was it that wise person once said about that? Oh yes, �You take the good, you take the bad, you take it all and there you have the facts of life.� Word.

Anyhoo, I also need to factor in the fact that I have a relatively useless degree when I look for work. Sure, I graduated from college with honors, but I am also the proud owner of a Bachelor�s Degree in film studies with a minor in writing. I might as well have a degree in Turdology. Ah, the benefits of a few years and a whole lot of hindsight � now I know what I should have been thinking when I chose that course of studies: �What in the HELL am I going to do with that?� But actually, I probably wouldn�t have changed things. I just would have had a better plan when I graduated. Now I think it�s time to revisit that chapter in my life just a bit and make a plan.

It sounds so easy. Just make a plan. Easy, right? Yeah, right.

Kinda scary.

Non-Diaryland Link of the Day: Shmuel's Page
Home of my pal (and karaoke singer extraordinaire!)

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.