You suck ass.

I loathe you and your reject alter-ego, Johnny Fairplay. You've ruined my Thursday nights. Instead of a nice, relaxing night of TV viewing, I now spend every moment you are on screen either cursing, throwing something in disgust, shouting, slamming my fists into a pillow I pretend is you, or dry heaving. Sometimes all of the above. Go home and stop tainting my TV. It hates me now because it has to suffer through projecting your vile, puny little jackass self onto my screen every week. If I had been on that island having to live with you 24/7 I would have maimed you by day 2. I don't know what kind of roofies you were slipping to your fellow Survivors in order for them not to have kicked your sorry ass off up to this point, but I hope you had run out of them by next week. Miss Alli had it correct when she deemed you "Worst. Survivor. Ever." You truly suck.

Yours,

Sock-girlie

________________________________________

I've been reading a lot of diaries lately that involve people frustrated with dealing with guys who are being idiots. I've been there, gang. I feel you. (You know who you are) I think what you need to help you along is a good "Screw you" mix CD. I made one last summer when I was done dealing with the antics of a self-involved guy who wasn't worth giving the price of sauerkraut to. Sometimes it's just nice when you're in full "Fool, psshht!" mode to crank up the tunes that empower you and sing them at the top of your lungs. It also helps to dance around like an idiot in your car while doing it. Not that I'd, er, know, um, I just hear that. Anyhoo, here is the track listing from the CD I dug up to give you some idea so you can make your very own "Screw You, Fool" CD.

1. You Ain't All That - Shanice:The quintessential song. What more is there to say than, "You ain't all that?" This song gets bonus points for the spoken riff between Shanice and Johnny Gill when she just goes off on him, "Don't call me, don't call my mother, don't call my father, and don't even give my dog a biscuit." That last part has to be said with full-on finger wagging and head bobbing. Classic.

2. Get Over Yourself - SheDaisy: Pretty self-explanatory, no?

3. Bye Bye - Jo Dee Messina: This song and half of her I'm Alright album helped my friend a few years back. Bye bye, baby, bye bye!

4. Dontcha Want Me Now? - Deborah Gibson: Shut up, I LOVE me some Gibson. "Even if you want me you're not gonna get me 'cause baby you had your chance. Dontcha want me now, now that I'm trying not to try so hard?" Damn straight.

5. Walking Away a Winner - Kathy Mattea: Second only to Track #1 in terms of personal favorite Pam-empowering songs.

6. Someday - Mariah Carey: C'mon now, you know this song rocked. Remember Mariah attempting to do the running man in the video? [shudder]

7. Hole in My Head - Dixie Chicks: "I need a boy like you like a hoooooooole in my head...." You can wail on this one, baby.

8. Itty Bitty Little Single Solitary Piece O' My Heart - Lari White: Back the f*ck off, you ain't getting near this.

9. Goodbye to You - Scandal: I *heart* Patty Smyth

10. I'm Gone - Cyndi Thompson: Why did she retire after making one kick ass CD? Come back, Cyndi!!!

11. Leave Me Alone - Natalie Imbruglia: She stole Daniel Johns from me!

12. Oh Lonesome You - Trisha Yearwood: Time to kick some shit, yo.

13. Running Back to You - Vanessa Williams: I love the way she says "Let's go" at the beginning of the song. She's so pissed! Also? You can't just dis me when you want to.

14. Trouble is a Woman - Julie Reeves: I get out of breath singing this one.

15. Sisters Are Doing it For Themselves - Annie Lennox & Aretha Franklin: I think it's kind of a prerequisite that this song be on any kind of 'girl power' CD.

16. Little Good-Byes - SheDaisy: Have fun watching the VCR!

17. Let 'Er Rip - Dixie Chicks: This is for all of those wussy men out there. Just do it, fool - I'm SO over you anyway.

18. Whatever - Jessica Andrews: Another self explanatory one. I really think more of these song titles need to end with the word 'fool,' though. "Whatever, Fool." Much better!

19. No Man - Nina Storey: I LOVE this song. Get thee to the nearest music site and download this shit. Legally, of course. (ahem)

20. No Time For Tears - Jo Dee Messina: Fool, I ain't got time to be festering over you. This song has one of my all-time favorite exclamations - "I'd rather be alone than hurt this way. (Fool!)"

That's all I could fit on the CD, but there are plenty more songs out there for you ladies to choose from [see Liz Phair]. I highly recommend the 'Screw You' CD - it can be very therapeutic. And to any songwriters out there looking to write the next big 'Screw You' song? More 'fool' please. Thank you.

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Jim Carrey
When I was in high school, I had this "future husband" list of celebrities. I remember one of the lists consisting of Dan Cortese, Wesley Snipes, and "The White Guy from In Living Color." Jim, you've come a long way, baby.

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before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.