Friday night was my designated Punishment Night for wronging Jerry by tricking him into watching Don't Look Now. I was able to plea bargain my sentence down to only one movie, so I got off easier than most would. Jerry also insisted that I have the Perfect Apple Margaritas that had been my downfall a few nights earlier. I tried to beg off, but...

...they are just too tasty! I don't know whose bright idea it was (Jerry's) for me to throw them back quickly and before dinner, but it wasn't a pretty sight when we went out to pick up a pizza. I have learned that booze + ice = mayhem. The whole street was just a sheet of black ice. Jerry and I slipped a little once we got past his walk, but I was able to grab onto my car to keep from falling. However, right before I stepped onto the driveway, I just went down. Luckily, I was able to break my fall and land on my hands, but I was kind of lurched over with my feet behind me, trying to get up again, but my feet just kept sliding back and forth on the ice like I was on a treadmill. I looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo - I just needed that Running Away Really Fast sound bite. Of course, this just lead to me screaming with laughter in between shouts of, "I can't get up!" Then I just laughed and laughed some more. I finally made it up and when I got in the car I exclaimed, "That was fun!" And then I laughed for another 5 minutes. Remember what I said about not being able to take me anywhere? Yeah.

(Although I did find out later that 2 more people that I know fell on the ice that night, too. It was everywhere!)

Anyway, when we got back from picking up the pizza, it was almost time for my punishment to begin. I passed on any more alcohol for the rest of the night and sought out a specialty soda in Jerry's Refrigerator O'Plenty. Seriously, I have never seen anything like it:

He's going to kill me for putting that up, but look at that! Is that not the greatest refrigerator that you have ever seen in your life??? It rules!!!

Anyway - so my punishment came in the form of a movie called Liquid Sky. Has anyone seen this? I had never heard of it, and after watching it, there are still no words to describe it. Here's what the Internet Movie Database has as the plot description:

"Invisible aliens in a tiny flying saucer come to Earth looking for heroin. They land on top of a New York apartment inhabited by a drug dealer and her female, androgynous, bisexual nymphomaniac lover, a fashion model. The aliens soon find the human pheromones created in the brain during orgasm preferable to heroin, and the model's casual sex partners begin to disappear. This increasingly bizarre scenario is observed by a lonely woman in the building across the street, a German scientist who is following the aliens, and an equally androgynous, drug-addicted male model. (Both models are played by Anne Carlisle, in a dual role.) Darkly funny and thoroughly weird."

I really don't think there's much more that I can add to that. The tiny flying saucer? "The size of a dinner plate." That's actually how they describe it in the movie. It's just so bizarre and BAD. I'm the first one to love a weird-ass movie, but there's such a thing as good weird and bad weird. This was just bad weird. Give me Playmate Of The Apes any day over that thing. I'm glad my time has been served. However, now I have to get Jerry back - that was just too much retribution for my small crime. Now he should be the one sleeping with one eye open. Stay tuned...

SATURDAY:

Friday night's activities kept me up a little late, so I was not very prepared to see a noon-time showing of The Aviator. Good movie, but awful long and a little boring in parts. Especially when you're not operating on a full night's sleep. Luckily, I got a second wind in time for the Dresden Dolls show that night. Man, they rocked.

If you ever get a chance to see these guys live, do it. They put on an awesome show, and they were so cool. They came out and introduced the opening acts and then stayed after to sign autographs. It's nice to see performers who are cool like that. Refreshing! Anyway, the place was packed and the crowd was surprisingly eclectic. We were expecting a plethora of diehard fans (the band is from Boston, so they have a big local following) all dolled up in their Dresdenesque finest, and they didn't disappoint. I was very jealous of this cute little black velvet dress that one guy was wearing. However, what my friend Kevin and I were not expecting were the large number of older folks in the crowd. It was very strange - I mean, this band pretty much puts on a freakshow. These people looked like someone's grandma. Kevin came up with the only logical conclusion: "Maybe they came because they heard it was a piano and drum band. 'Martha, do you want to go see this show tonight? I heard someone plays the piana.'" Man, we just took that and ran for about 5 minutes. Kevin is originally from Massachusetts, so he can do the accent spot-on. Every time he said "piana" I lost it completely. But like I said, it was a great show - the guy in the band can play the shit out of the drums, and when they started into Coin-Operated Boy, I just about lost my mind. I wanted to run up onstage and just sing right along, but instead, like Oran' Juice Jones, I chilled. But yeah, pretty great concert.

After the show we headed to a local bar over near Brown University where we watched a guy attempting to dance all sexy. It was just wrong on so many levels. He just had no rhythm. But it was like a car accident - we couldn't look away. He was grabbing this girl and trying to grind with her, but he was just so off and he was trying to get all close to the floor, but he ended up looking like he was going to break her neck. Kevin's friend said, "I feel his shame just from watching this." But we couldn't look away - one guy at the next table even pulled out his camera-phone and took a video of the dancing. And the guy just kept going, completely unaware until the Greatest. Thing. Ever. happened. The guy and his dance partner literally cleared the dance floor. You know those scenes in movies where people form a square around the dance floor, just leaving one couple as sort of the spotlight dancers? It was just like that. Well, except that in the movies, it's usually because the dancers' moves are so fly that people have to stand back and watch in awe and they clap along and all that jazz. In this case, the people were watching in horror. It was awesome. Sadly, the guy finally looked up and noticed this and then scampered off. The night just went downhill from there. Man, I wish I had a video camera phone now. Dammit!

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Random Question of the Day: Is it just me on this one? Jerry was telling me a story about trying to get rid of a chatty co-worker the other day by pretending to work on some figures by punching numbers into his calculator. I asked him, "Did you type in 'boobless'? 55378008!" He just paused and then said, "That was scary how quickly you just rattled off that number, as if you do that all the time." I don't, but who doesn't remember that? Is it just me on this one? C'mon! Boobless! It was so funny in 6th grade! Right? Right??? Hit up the comments if I'm not the only moron on this one. :-)


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.