I lost my fall-back guy today.

Actually, today men are falling down and dropping away like dominoes. First, there was the big break-up with my fake boyfriend. Pseudo-Gavin cut off all of his beautiful Gavin-y hair! I think he may be a descendent of Samson, because all of his powers of attraction are gone with his luscious locks. He didn't shave it off, but now he just looks like a totally different person. A very horrible person. It's very strange, because normally different hair doesn't usually make that much of a difference. I mix up my hairstyles all the time, but I still look like me. Not him. I don't know who he looks like, but he looks horrifying. I could not even bend my mind around the fact that he was so beautiful before and now is merely mediocre. He also now looks to be about 12 years old. My first warning came from one of my coworkers after lunch today - "I think (Pseudo-Gavin) got his hair cut. If it's really him, it's not good. I don't think it was him, though. It didn't look like him at all." A few minutes later I saw a strange looking boy with bad hair pass by the window. I just shook my head and muttered, "nah." Right after that one of the supervisors came out and asked me if I had just seen my man pass. I asked him to tell me it wasn't true, that it was all a cruel joke, but he said he thought it was him because he recognized his walk. Huh? A guy recognized another guy's walk? Odd. Pseudo-Gavin emerged a few minutes later and I got a real good look at him. It was true. Those were his clothes. That was his sweet ass. He was hideous. He was second season Felicity. He was also possibly twelve years old.

I broke it off immediately. You're allowed to be shallow with fake boyfriends. That's part of the fun. Superficiality rules! I'm also still trying to figure out how someone can go from being an Adonis to being a twerp. It just doesn't add up. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one in the office who thought this. Other workers reeled away in horror at the mere sight of him. "What did he DO?" "It will grow back, right? Right?" To add insult to injury, the haircut is also quite bad. It looks like Edward Scissorhands was hacking away back there. It's all uneven and choppy and just a total mess. Why hast thou forsaken me, Pseudo-Gavin??? I'm going to have to come up with a new name. The Fake Boyfriend Formerly Known as Pseudo-Gavin. TFFBRKAP. Too much work. How about Quasimodo? No, it's not that bad. Hmmm. Dr. Jeckyll. Jeckyll for short. Yes, yes. I felt the need to meet up with him as he was coming back from lunch later on. He cheerily said hello and I acted surprised upon seeing his new look, saying, "Oh, you cut off all of your hair!" He then smiled and said, "Yeah," to which I so smoothly replied, "You look about eight." Smoooooooth. Sexy talk, right there. "You look eight." Mmmm. Gets them every time. And then this is how I knew that I had officially broken up with my fake boyfriend - he laughed and said, "It gets too hot and sweaty in the summer..." - and I didn't even say anything. The perfect set-up, and I didn't want to come back with one of the thirteen hot-and-sweaty related flirts in my head. I just smiled meekly and said, "Well, it looks nice" in an unconvincing way and walked straight back into work. Sigh. Who will make me smile and make my day now? I'm going to have to find a new fake boyfriend. Damn.

After that disappointment, I was dealt another blow later on today. Yes, I lost my fall-back guy. I hope this doesn't mean that I'm getting old or finally growing up or some pleasure-depriving mumbo jumbo like that. I hope it just means I've outgrown him. I must say, we've had a good run. "P" has been my fall-back guy for about 6 years. Whenever both of us are single and bored, we always have each other to fall back on if we feel the need for a random makeout. It's a simple system, something everyone should have. (We prefer not to use the term "boy toy" or anything like that) Just friends being good friends, that's all. People have these, right? I'm not crazy or weird, am I? Nah. Anyway, today I saw him for the first time since his breakup about a month ago and he started hinting about things and there was just...nothing. I felt nothing. No twinges. No urges. No reminder of why he was my fall back guy for so long. It was just all gone. Now it felt like thinking about kissing my brother. Well no, not that bad. I'll go with second cousin instead. But still, it's a sad day when this happens. I haven't told him yet, but we've been doing the buddies thing for so long while we've been in and out of relationships that it shouldn't bother him. But still, it's a sad day to see this era end with no potential fall-back guys on the horizon. We've had a good run, P, the novelty has just worn off. Or you are now my second cousin. Whichever works for you.

Man, now I need to find a fall-back guy and a fake boyfriend. I've got my work cut out for me. The fakeys are much much easier to find. Sigh. What does the barber say? "NEXT!"

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.