Ahem. My singing voice seems to have taken a vacation this week, which always makes me a sad girl, but this week even more so. There's a big radio-sponsored karaoke contest Friday night and I wanted to go and enter it. It's for the local country station, (we only have one in the state up here in the northeast) and Billy Gilman is going to be one of the judges. For those of you who don't know, Billy Gilman hit it big in the country music world a few years back as a spritely 12 year-old. He's now 15 and puberty has really taken its toll on the poor kid. But he's a local boy, so the radio station adores him. I just want to go and get my revenge.

You see, years ago my friends and I ventured to the scary world of the County Fair to see Jo Dee Messina perform. Her album at the time helped Rachel through a bad break-up and we were going to have a big girl's night out with Jo Dee. We had never been to the county fair before, and it was a little creepy. Thankfully, we got there just in time for the concert so we didn't have to experience hearing the Deliverance music in our heads. We made our way right to the front of the stage and settled in for the opening act - 11 year-old local sensation Billy Gilman. No one outside of the fair had ever heard of him at this point, and let me tell you something, homeboy was SCARY. We're still all scarred for life from the performance. He came out with this spangly outfit on and started singing like a little girl. Lucy just stood there with this horrified look on her face, and Rachel and I just started laughing uncontrollably. We soon realized that Billy's grandparents were standing right next to us, so we had to try to contain ourselves, but that made it all the harder. He was singing all of the songs that Lucy and I used to perform at karaoke, too. We just kept yelling to each other about him stealing all of our material. Also, for an 11 year-old, he was amazingly gay. He'll be in The Advocate in a few years, just you wait. Anyway, then it happened. The big closing number. Billy broke into this patriotic medley, including everyone's favorite ditty about being proud to be an American, and he started doing these air kicks as he called out the various branches of the military, "ARMY! (kick) NATIONAL GUARD! (kick)" My jaw was on the ground. I still don't think I have fully recovered. I can't even say his name in front of Lucy or Rachel without one of them visually shuddering. Of course, then one of us will no doubt reenact the kicking and the shouts of, "AIR FORCE!" Billy Gilman must be properly mocked. He must pay.

Hopefully my voice will return in time for the big night. One time I had lost my voice for a full 2 1/2 years. I was not a happy girl AT all. I still refer to that period as "The Dark Years." Julie Andrews, I feel your pain. I can't even imagine. I don't even want to think about it and I can't even sing anywhere near half as good as she does. It's just my favorite thing in the world to do, that's all. Okay, enough rambling. Anyway, they're accepting Wild Card entries the night of the show. Hey, I could pull a Clay Aiken! I want to go and sing Sin Wagon by the Dixie Chicks. It's one of my favorite songs to sing, and there's a part where the lyrics say, "Do a little mattress dancing...that's right, I said mattress dancing." I just want to go up to little Billy Gilman, seductively sit in his lap and purr, "That's right Billy Gilman, I said mattress dancing...." Oh that would just make my week. Maybe I could even lick the side of his face. What could they do? It's all part of the performance. Oh, I must. Must.

Anyone know any good remedies to get my voice back? Help!

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Casey Affleck
He's always been my preferred Affleck. Looking his hottest in Ocean's Eleven, but I'm partial to the eye makeup in 200 Cigarettes.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.