Damn you, Britney Spears. Damn you to all hell for making such a damn catchy ditty. I hate, HATE to admit it, but I love me some Toxic. That damn thing has been stuck in my head for two days. I really should keep that to myself, shouldn't I? I'll hide it away in the same place that stores my anger for enjoying a Justin song. Gah. I'm shaking my fist at you, Rock Your Body. I'm also a wee bit ashamed to say that I love The Penfifteen Club's ode to Paris, Ms. Hilton. (Hey, it was a free download on their site) So yeah, um, yeah, er, um, me? Toxic? Oh, you're hearing things. Ahem. (I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic....)

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And now...time for more advice from the woman below on "How to Marry the Man of Your Choice."

Has everyone been following all of her previous words of wisdom? God, I hope not. Here are some more:

- Interesting things to do on a date: 1) Visit the oldest building in town. 2)Visit a newspaper office to see its operations. - Woo? Seriously, if a guy EVER took me to either one of those places on a date, I'd be faking sick within minutes.

- How to get a man to talk if he is being hesitant: "If necessary, prod him gently by making a comment such as "Cat's got your tongue?" Where the hell does this woman come from? If I ever asked a guy that question I would expect nothing less than unbridled laughter directed right in my face. Cat's got your tongue. For crying out loud.

- Speech Patterns: "If possible, correct (your man's) speech by paraphrasing what he says in a superior vocabulary. For example, if he says, 'I'm mad,' you say 'You mean you're angry - dogs go mad.' Every time you improve his conversation, you will increase his respect for your mind." Oh yeah, guys just love that kind of shit. If someone corrected my speech, I think it would lower my tolerance level for that person, not increase my respect for his or her mind. I'd also want to slap them. But maybe that's just me. This woman is unreal. How's this for a superior vocabulary - kiss my ass, lady. Wait, sorry - please bring your lips to my posterior and pucker up.

-And the final tip of the day concerns how to praise effectively: "Tell him that he is handsome, that his glances are exciting to you...If his looks are less than average, try to tell him that although he may not meet the concept of 'attractive' for some women, he is sufficiently attractive to you." - His glances are exciting? The hell? I kinda wish I had a boy to like just so I could tell him that his 'glances' were exciting to me. That's just gay. Plain old gay. And the second part?? Criminy. "Sweetie, most women find you to be ugly, grotesque, and/or physically appalling. But hey, there's no one else chasing me right now, so I'll just turn off the lights and you'll do." Yes, hearing that you are "sufficiently" attractive is the compliment of the year. Try it.

Co-Worker Fashion Faux Pas of the Day: She keeps wearing the same pair of navy blue knee-high nylons with runs and holes all over them. I've got two words for you, Dunce: trouser socks.

Comments? Sign the book!

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.