Boys, why do you keep holding out on me? First the GQ and now the Gillette Mach 3 razor. Oh, Gillette Mach 3, how I love you so. This is going to be a bit of a TMI post, but I don�t care. My love will not be a thing of shame! I will not hide it!! I�ve always had problems with razors in the past. I normally just use this old razor and normal blades and they work fine, but it�s nothing spectacular. For some reason, the hair on my legs is very temperamental. As soon as I shave, it wants to start coming back again. I swear my legs get a five o�clock shadow - it�s ridiculous. I want to be one of those girls who can go days without shaving!! (Oh, girls with blonde hair on their legs � how I�ve envied you so!) And Nair? Forget about it. I turn patchy, with some spots smooth, some untouched. Believe me, I�ve tried all the different kinds of removers with it slathered ALL over my legs, but I always end up with the same result: Patch Adams. I�ve gone the electric route, which was no better. And don�t even get me started on all of the razors that are �Made just for Women!� The Venus can bite my ass, because that thing is a piece of shit. Ditto any other Lady-themed feminine-named razor. All ass. (I miss the Flicker � remember those? I LOVED the Flicker.)
Anyway, this is all leading up to my fated trip to L.A. and what is now being dubbed as �The Razor Incident.� Right before I left, I put a new blade in my razor in anticipation of all of the capri pants, shorts and possible bathing suit wearing that lied ahead. When I was bathing my first night in L.A., I was shaving my armpits as I am wont to do, and I noticed something funny. The faint little stubble was NOT moving. I tried the other armpit � nothing. I re-lathered and tried again � not even budging. At this point, I am entering full-on panic mode as it is midnight, there is no little store in our hotel to buy a new razor, and I�m set to wear a sleeveless shirt the next day. I sat there in shock-mode for a minute, and then I moved into profanity mode. Next was Plum Crazy Mode, where I proceeded to remove the blade from my razor and then reattach it, as if that would magically change things. Unsurprisingly, it did not.
Then, just as I was about the enter the dark pits of Armpit Despair, a light shone down upon the counter behind the sink. For there, in my brother�s pile of toiletries, sat the Gillette Mach 3 razor. I quickly pooh-poohed any ideas of using it, as I�ve always been warned against men and women sharing razors. I still don�t know why, but I think it has something to do with the guy. Anyway, then I thought, �Well, it�s just a few short tufts of hair, what harm can it do?� I called out to my brother to see if I could borrow it, and he said yes (I guess he�s never heard the warnings), so I slowly and gingerly brought it to my skin. Then, the heavens opened and there were shouts of �Hallelujah!� from all around. Well, not really. But I seriously have never had something shave so well. It looked like any hair follicles that may have existed in that area just shriveled inside themselves and died. Oh, it was glorious. The next day, I stopped off at the drug store to get myself my own Mach 3, and I haven�t looked back since. My legs are, I don�t even know what to say. I�m like the Mayor of Smooth City over here or something. I can skip TWO days if I so desire and no one would be any wiser. That�s how unbelievable this thing is. So now I ask yet again: Boys, why have you been keeping this such a secret all this time? And what else aren�t you telling us? Dish!!!
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It occurred to me the other day that I haven�t updated on my new office ever since I moved to my desk, far away from The Annoying Radio Guy and Hi & Lois Woman. I like it here in this office, and especially in my new location in the building. This wouldn�t be my life, however, without something odd around me. Enter Cubemate X. There is a guy who sits right near me whose voice sounds just like that of the Cowardly Lion. I love it. Every time he answers the phone I expect him to exclaim, �Put �em up, put �em up!� It hasn�t happened yet, but maybe someday. Oh yes. Someday.
before & after
2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.