Every so often I like to take a moment and celebrate just what kind of bizarre things people are searching for that lead them to my page. Let's take a look, shall we?

- Werewolf Surfer Boys - First of all, WHAT?? Secondly, Ew! Imagine wading through the water thinking that your foot is caught up in a patch of seaweed when you come to find out it's actually hair. I repeat - Ew!

- Kill Ryan Seacrest - Well, I can't entirely disagree with this one. But I have a feeling he'll just go away on his own. With his talk show's embarrassingly low ratings, does he get it now that people HATE him? Because Ryan? We do.

- "Krakow My Ass" - Awesome. I think I'm going to have to incorporate this phrase into my daily life, but I'm not really sure of its correct usage if I'm not really speaking about Brian Krakow. "How much is this sweater?" "$50" "$50??!! Krakow, my ass!" Hmmm. I think that needs a wee bit more work. Any suggestions?

- Most Ticklish Feet Diaryland - Well, I don't think this title belongs to me. I've never talked about having ticklish feet, but I'm kind of curious as to who would be searching for this anyway. Actually, no. Scratch that. I hate feet.

- How Do I Know I Am A Bad Boyfriend? - Let me give you a little hint - if you have to ask, chances are that you are.

- Nun-Clown - Woo! I'm still obsessed.

- People Who Look Like Wilford Brimley - Is there really a big demand for this? Are they trying to copy the Kenny Rogers folks? Or maybe someone finds Wilford Brimley sexy. Oh my God, I think that is one of the most disturbing sentences I have ever written.

- Men In Assless Chaps - Um. Yeah. Sorry, none of those here. You might wanna try The Blue Oyster for that.

- Chris Farley Shirtless - Okay, I'm going to give this person the benefit of the doubt and hope that they were searching for something about the classic SNL Chippendales sketch with Farley and Patrick Swayze. That's the only explanation I can give this one. I don't even want to think about it if it wasn't about that. [shudder]

- Can a Woman Pee Into a Men's Urinal? - Why would I hold the answer to this illustrious question? Now that I think about it, though, I can't see why not. She'd probably have to be facing away from the urinal, and just sit her butt right in there. Or maybe...wait, I need to stop thinking about this.

- Hilary Duff In Her Tight Ass Jeans - Woo!

- My Daughter's Nipples - Why, why, WHY would someone get to my page from this? Does any normal parent really want to know about their daughter's nipples? As far as my parents are concerned, I think in their minds I am celibate forever. I don't even kiss boys. They just don't want to know. And TOTALLY vice versa.

- "Billy Gilman Sex Stories" & "Billy Gilman Shirtless" - I think I just threw up in my mouth.

- Sock Monkey Porn - There are just so many different levels of wrong on that one that I don't even know where to start. Boy, these searches are making me feel less and less strange.

- Meeting Random Strangers For Sex - Ooh, where???!

- Retro Sneaker Freak - Oh wait. That one's right. Yes, I'm a sneaker whore.

- Mo Rocca Shirtless - Okay, I know Mo is one of my Celebrity Boyfriends and all, but I like him because he's funny and cute in that cute, dorky way. Not in the "I want to see you with your shirt off" kind of way. I've seen him in shorts. It ain't pretty.

- Grandma Porn - Aaaaand I just threw up in my mouth again. EW. Seriously, I can't even entertain the thought of this one. That gum commercial that has the old people kissing gives me the heebie jeebies. Who, who, WHO is searching for this?

That last one is still making me squirm in my seat, so I think I'll just end it here with this simple yet disturbing search:

- "Sniff Me"

CD Pick of the Day: Allison Moorer, The Hardest Part
She sounds freakishly like her sister, Shelby Lynne, but with a hint more bluegrass in the mix. Her albums all rock, but this is my favorite. It's a great broken heart record.

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before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.