Anyway, Jerry had the audacity to question my expertise the other day. It all happened when he came to pick me up at work for a lunch-time shopping spree. This was the first time he�d been to my office, so it was a treat for him to see all of the famous people that I tell him about. (There is quite a strange variety of odd creatures that inhabit my workplace.) I thought he was going to fall over from the over-stimulation and joy. He just sat there and gushed over everyone. �Look! There are the prisoners taking out the trash!!! Oooooh! Is that�no! I love her!!!!!!!!!!!!� He thought his day was complete when he finally saw the woman who is best described as �John Waters would love her.� He just stared and stared. I finally broke his concentration by telling him that my workplace also housed The Ugliest Man I�ve Ever Seen. �Surely you jest,� Jerry said, and scoffed at what he thought was my naivet�. He then launched into a list of ugly men that we know, saying that nothing could be as bad as one of them on the list. I just shook my head and told him that the guy he mentioned is like an Adonis compared to this man at my office. Then I offered to prove it to him. He accepted � and fell silent at the mere sight of him.

You see, this man � there are no words. He's just hideous. He got jumped and beat up a couple of months ago, and we heard that his face got all messed up from the beating - a woman I work with who is sweet as pie and never says a bad word about anything, just laughed when she heard that and said, "How would they know?" His Ugliness - it transcends!!! One of the worst parts about it all is that The Ugliest Man I've Ever Seen owns and runs the coffee/lunch counter that is in my building. He works there by himself, preparing people�s food, and he blabs and blabs and blabs to you while you�re waiting. I don�t know how anyone can eat after that much exposure to him. It�s things like this that make me glad that I bring a lunch and don�t drink coffee. But this man � there is pretty much not ONE redeeming quality that I can find about him. He is fugly beyond belief, to the point where Jerry actually referred to him as �the troll behind the lunch counter,� and he is a complete jerk. He�s got this LOUD and annoying voice and he�s always spouting off his unsolicited opinions on things. He�s rude. He charges too much for everything. He skimps on the cream in the chowder. He insults people. He serves people moldy bagels and then refuses to give them a refund. Have I mentioned that he�s an assault on the eyes? Because it is just brutal, y�all. He has what can only be described as a �Doy� look frozen on his face at all times, all slack-jawed with tongue hanging out. His gigantic-framed glasses eat up half of his face. The rest � it�s just impossible to describe. Let me call Jerry right now and check with him on a description - Jerry: �Frightening.� Then he added, �A scary man with big hands. I don�t want him touching my cheeseburger. A big, burly man with some of the ugliest eyeglasses that I�ve ever seen on a human being, and I�ve worn some ugly eyeglasses in my life. Oh, he�s frightening.�

The plus side to all of this is that Jerry will never question my expertise in the area of men�s looks anymore. The minus side is that he will now have nightmares about the man with the ugly glasses eating him like a moldy cheeseburger.

Hey, that�s what he gets for doubting me.


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.