Ah, the MTV Video Music Awards, a show I used to count down the days and hours to. This was back in the day, before the show didn�t suck. Every year now I watch, expecting it to get better and it never does. Last night�s show was no exception. Shame on you MTV for such a poor 20th Anniversary Celebration. Hey, at least the Wayans weren�t hosting. Thankfully, I had Lucy over watching it with me to help me through it. Just a warning in advance: yes, we�re horrible. Share our pain and random observations:

PAM: Who�s that?
I must have said this a million times throughout the evening, as well as �I�ve never heard this song.� I feel so out of touch with the kids these days. [sigh] I know the names of rappers and the song names, but a lot of times I�ve never actually heard the song, just heard of it. I know what most of the big name rappers look like, but some of the others I�m not sure about, and forget members of their posse. Posse? Entourage? Which one is it these days? Am I showing my age? Moving on to the opening number with Madonna, Britney & Christina�.

Okay, first of all I�m a little offended and sickened about the whole Britney and Christina reenacting the Like a Virgin performance. They�ve heard about it and seen videos of it, but I was old enough to see it live. I think it�s the property of my generation. I�m very protective of it for some reason, probably because at that time, I thought it was the greatest thing ever. Oh yeah, I still know all the moves. Britney � you have no idea. The poor kids today growing up with you as their pop idol. You can�t touch Madonna. This was pretty evident when Madonna came onstage and just took over. Say what you will about the woman, she still kicks ass. She may not be the greatest singer in the world, and she should probably stop making records because the last few just sucked, but she is a superstar, plain and simple. You�re just drawn to her. It was also kind of strange to find her a little classy compared to the other two. Since when did Madonna start outclassing other people? That�s scary. I also must say that I don�t hate Britney, I just don�t think she should sing. If I�m Britney Spears and I suck singing live, I�m not sure I want Aguilera singing with me and putting me to shame. Just saying. Also? Could have done without the kiss. It just made it as Lucy said, �a ridiculous spectacle.�

**********

PAM: If Good Charlotte start kissing each other, I�m turning this off.
LUCY: Ugh, that anarchy cheerleader thing has been done.
PAM: I think if you look up the definition of �trying just a little too hard� you�ll find a picture of Good Charlotte. Pose much?

**********

PAM: Who�s that?

**********

PAM: Hey, Aguilera�s doing the �Cold Hearted� thing.
LUCY: Is that Dave Navarro?
PAM�S MOM: He�s handsome.
LUCY: He reminds me of a mini Prince for some reason.
MOM: What�s wrong with his body? What does he look like? An elf?
LUCY: No, it�s something else. A centaur!
PAM: Ooh, he totally does.
LUCY: Throw a horse�s ass where his legs are and you�re all set.
MOM: This stinks.

**********

PAM: Why is that guy carrying a chalice?

**********

I�d also like to know when Eminem became such a diva. He had at least 5 outfit changes throughout the night. What�s going on with that?

**********

MOM: Gross, who is that?
LUCY: 50 Cent
PAM: He�s been shot nine times.
MOM: He�s gross.
LUCY: But he�s been shot nine times!!

**********

Next we move on to Mary J. Blige and her outdoor performance:

PAM: What the hell is she wearing?
LUCY: I think she may think that looks a LOT better than it does.
PAM: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???
LUCY: Maybe she�s representing. She�s from the Boogie Down Bronx and wanted her pants to look like the graffiti that decorates the city?
PAM: That outfit reminds me of that guy who used to wear that creepy bodysuit of the human body.
LUCY: Hey yeah!
PAM: He was such a perv. Is she going to sing Real Love?
LUCY: Hey look, 50 Cent. He�s been shot nine times.

**********

PAM: Ugh, Fred Durst. I can�t stand him.
LUCY: Look at him. His whole band hates him. Everybody hates him. He should die.
PAM: I�d like to see him get his ass kicked. That would make this show rule!!! Someone come and kick Fred Durst�s ass live on television.
LUCY: Pleeeease??
PAM: Why is Jack Black even talking to him?
LUCY: Kick his ass!

**********

PAM: It�s only ten o�clock??? This is the longest VMA show ever! Why do I feel like it�s been on for five hours? Kill me now.

**********

LUCY: Ooh, Duran Duran will be on after the commercial. Wait, was that them? Oh no. I can�t watch. I may have to leave.
PAM: How did John Taylor look?
LUCY: It didn�t look like anyone looked good. This will just shatter my whole childhood. If Duran Duran comes out onstage all looking like Keith Richards, then I will finally be old. I can�t.
PAM: Hey, they don�t look so bad.
MOM: That one on the end has definitely had a facelift.
LUCY: Nooooooo!
PAM: Boy, that was the least fanfare I have ever seen for a Lifetime Achievement Award.
LUCY: This sucks.

**********

Every time Dirrty was nominated for an award, I kept yelling that I wanted it to win. Why didn�t it ever win?
PAM: Ooh, Dirrty again. I hope that wins. Look at her, she�s such a scumbag in that video. I love it. It HAS to win.
LUCY: She has taken scuzziness to a whole new level. It�s a thing of beauty.
PAM: C�mon, �Gonna get dirty�.� Aaagghh! Damn you, Timberlake! Stop winning!

**********

PAM: There�s that guy with the chalice again. Why does he have that? Who is that?
LUCY: 50 Cent has been shot nine times.

**********

Snoop Dogg is quite possibly the coolest man on the planet. I don�t care if you don�t like his music, his TV show, whatever. He�s just cool. Snoop rocks. Who doesn�t want to hang with Snoop up in the chu�uch?

**********

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: I grew up with Johnny Cash. I�m from Tennessee, and my grandfather used to play his music all the time.
LUCY: Yep, after my granddaddy got finished hanging some black people, he�d come in the house and play some Johnny Cash. Those were the days�.
PAM: Hee! That�s horrible. Hee!
LUCY: Look what this show is doing to me. I�ve gotta go home.
PAM: No! We have to see if that awkward girl in the bad clothes gets $25,000 from Nick Lachey and his Stepford Wife.
LUCY: Why is Jessica Simpson trying to look like Faith Hill?
PAM: She�s got some boobs on her. Ooh, look, she doesn�t even want to go near Awkward Girl!
LUCY: Stay away from me, common girl.
PAM: Eeek! I might catch her awkwardness! Cooties!
LUCY: 50 Cent has been shot nine times.
PAM: Damn skippy.

**********

PAM: Look, there�s another guy with a chalice. WHAT IS GOING ON? This sucks.

**********

LUCY: Finally, Metallica is here to close the show.
PAM: They�re supposed to do a medley of big songs from the last 20 years.
LUCY: Cool!
PAM: They�re not singing them?
LUCY: What is this?
PAM: Wait, that�s it? What was that, 20 seconds each of 4 songs? This sucks.
LUCY: I�m going home.
PAM: Oh wait, I don�t think they�re done. Oh, it�s one of their songs.
LUCY: Home.
PAM: I�m going to bed. What a waste. Who were half of those people?
LUCY: All I know is that 50 Cent has been shot nine times.
PAM: That, and I need to start carrying around a chalice.

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Taye Diggs
Oh Lawwwwwdy! I want to get my groove back with some of that hotness. Love him in Go, and there's just not nearly enough of him in Chicago. More Taye, please.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.