- WARNING: There are no holiday sweaters left in the stores! I repeat: there are no holiday sweaters left in the stores! Well, there must not be, because they are ALL being worn by my coworkers. Seriously, it�s like the Christmas Sweater Fairy threw up in here. I�m just sitting in my cubicle, watching them parade by, getting worse as they go on. The first isn�t too offensive, just a little snowman here and there. However, by the end I�m looking at a sweater featuring a 3-D teddy bear who is also wearing a holiday sweater, all topped off with a nappy fur collar. I need to sharpen one of my pencils so I can then scratch my eyes out. Help me.

- My laziness has been put to shame. Now, I�m the first to admit that I slack off a lot at work, but it�s only after my work is done. However, I�m usually not blatant about it � I always appear to be busy. Some of my co-workers, on the other hand�well, there�s one guy who just opens the newspaper at his desk and sits there and reads it. I just couldn�t bring myself to be that ballsy. Dude, the paper is online. At least read it there. Newspaper Guy isn�t as bad as another co-worker, though. I was waiting to talk to someone the other day and I was standing outside the cubicle of a worker who tends to complain a lot about always having too much work to do. I think I may have an idea now of why her work isn�t being done. As I was standing outside of her cubicle the other day, I glanced over at the back of her and then had to do a double-take to see if what I saw was really happening. Yes, yes it was � there she sat, with her hands resting on the keyboard, sleeping. Her head was slightly bowed down and she was out like a light. I just stood there and laughed my head off. It was delicious.

- Remember how I used to enjoy having a guy on the other side of my cubicle wall who talked like the Cowardly Lion? Well, now � not so much with the enjoyment. I still enjoy the Cowardly Lion part of it all, but about 2 months ago, Mr. C.L. started with this guttural hacking. It�s seriously disgust-a-bust. I could probably put up with a cough for 2 months, even though I�d get a little annoyed, but this � this is some kind of a beast. Oh God, he just did it now. He always has the uncanny ability to do it right on cue when I�m talking about it. Anyway, it�s this loud hocking sound, like he�s conjuring up the World�s Largest Loogie. Sometimes it�s followed by him gagging uncontrollably, sometimes it�s followed by him attempting to clear his throat, sometimes it�s followed by nothing, and sometimes it�s followed by him muttering. Most of the time it is followed by me grimacing and scores of coworkers around me cringing, swearing, or doing the Universal �Ew!� face. HHHHHGGGGCCCKKKKKGGGHHH!!!! So nasty. And really, he does it ALL day long. He even does it while he�s walking, so you can hear it echoing from all areas of the building. Thankfully, he finally went to the doctor last Friday and got some medication for it, but it�s not working yet. It had better start soon, because my patience is starting to wear very thin as it is now affecting my enjoyment of my afternoon Hershey�s Twosome. And we all know how much I love the Twosome. But it�s a little difficult to eat when there is someone 4 feet away from you choking on Delaware. The only positive in all of this is the enjoyment from hearing another cube neighbor start cranking up the music at his desk when the C.L. is having a particularly active day. It never fails to crack me up. Oh, there it is again! HHHCCCKKKKUUGGGHH! Seriously, help me.

Warning of the Day: I advise against saying to yourself, �Eh, I�ll just turn on this Deal or No Deal thing so I�ll have some background noise while I wrap some gifts.� It�s quite possible that you will get sucked in and now MUST WATCH EVERY NIGHT, DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!! Stupid Deal or No Deal - it�s laced with crack, I tell you! And when did Howie Mandel become Evan Handler?


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.