Also? Unnnhhh...aaaagggghhhh...owwwwww!

So I fell down the stairs this morning. I was at home, all tra-lal-la-ing my way down my stairs, when after the middle landing, I stepped into the stupid big cuff on the stupid bottom of my stupid (but awesome) Gap trousers and I went sailing down the last 4 stairs, knocking into a few of them and then finally landing on my hands and knees on the hard tile floor at the bottom. Just call me Princess Grace. When I was done, I looked around, said, "Oh," then just got up and headed out the door to work. Five minutes later my neck started to hurt. Now it is 8 hours later and it still hurts, kind of in an "I'm old and I fell down the stairs and wrenched my neck" sort of way, not in the "I may have moved things around in my spine that I shouldn't have" sort of way, which is lucky for me. The worst part about the whole thing is that my thoughts after landing ass-over-teakettle immediately went to the CD that I was holding in my hand, all, "My CD!" (I had just burned some songs that I had downloaded.) It's nice to know that worrying about being able to drive to work that day singing along with Weezer about being a "no class beat-down fool," or Buckcherry about being all kinds of lit up far outweigh those of, I don't know, being able to MOVE. The Priorities, they are quite screwy. But hey, at least I'm okay and just a little sore and feeling quite old and feeble. And at least my thoughts didn't immediately go to, "My hip!" I'm not feeling quite THAT old yet. Phew.

Anyway, while I'm somewhat on the subject of music, I must mention something that I discovered a few weeks back when I picked up the Desperate Housewives soundtrack, and that is the existence of the new champion of The Stupidest Song Ever. And who wrote it? Well, Shania Twain, of course. Now let me just talk about the Shania here. I enjoy the Shania most of the time - I want to find her inane songs to be horrific, but they are just so damn catchy that sometimes I can't help it. I like the Shania. I put up with a LOT of foolishness in terms of lyrics and song titles and blatant overuse of exclamation points with Shania, because did I mention the catchiness? (I'm looking at you, Kaching! and Waiter! Bring Me a Water!) However, this time I just cannot overlook these things, because the song is just SO bad. So, so bad. Have you heard Shoes? If not, you're a lucky, lucky person. For one, you haven't had to witness these lyrics:

Tell me about it.
Ooh!

Men...
Have you ever tried to figure 'em out?
Huh, me too, but I ain't got no clue
How 'bout you?

Men are like shoes
A bit too confused
Yeah, there's so many of 'em
I don't know which ones to choose
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
Ah, sing it to me
If you agree
(yeah, yeah, yeah)

There's the kind made for runnin'
The sneakers and the low down heels
The kind that will keep you on your toes
And every girl knows how that feels
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
Ouch, ah sing it with me
(yeah, yeah, yeah)

[Chorus]
You've got your kickers and your ropers
Your everyday loafers, and some that you can never find
You've got your slippers and your zippers
Your grabbers and your grippers
Man, don't ya hate that kind?
Some you wear in, some you wear out
Some you wanna leave behind
Sometimes you hate 'em
And sometimes you love 'em
I guess it all depends on which way you rub 'em
But a girl can never have too many of 'em

It's amazing what a little polish will do...
Men are like shoes.

Some make you feel ten feet tall (tall)
Some make you feel so small (so small)
Some you want to leave out in the hall (out in the hall)
Or make you feel like kicking the wall (like kicking the wall)
(yeah, yeah, yeah)

Ah, sing it with me, girls
Ooh! (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Mmm...

[Repeat Chorus]

Some can polish up pretty good...
Ah, men are like shoes.

[Instrumental]

It's amazing what a little polish will do
Some clean up good, just like new
Some you can't afford, some are real cheap
Some are good for bummin' around on the beach
(You've got your kickers and your ropers)
(Your everyday loafers)
Yeah some that you can never find
(You've got your slippers and your zippers)
(Your grabbers and your grippers)
And man, don't ya hate that kind?

[Repeat Chorus}

I ain't got time for the flip-flop kind...
Men are like shoes!

Yeeeeaah. It's poetry, no? I know I always complain to my friends that I ain't got time for the flip-flop kind. What is a girl to do? But seriously, Shania, let's talk girl-to-girl. First, no. Just no. Second? NO. Third? Girl...no. It's just gotten to be a bit much now. What's happened to that Woman In You who used to sing songs that weren't quite as cheesy all those years ago? Has she been taken captive by the Oompa Loompas who seem to have written the hook for the aforementioned Kaching! song? If not, then find that woman, because girl, it is getting rough. This road you've been heading down lately leads nowhere good. Next thing you know the title of your next album will be 'Underwear,' featuring songs such as 'Water the Lawn! (If You've Got a Hose),' 'DMV Rock!' and 'Takin' Out The Trash (Is Good For The Booty)' and then we will all know that you have truly gone over the edge. So please, seek help right away and let us never speak of this Shoes song again. Thank you.

DVD Recommendation of the Day: Trapped in the Closet, Chapters 1-12, by R. Kelly.
I finally got my DVD and let me tell you people, it is...there are no words. Things like "The height of ridiculous" would not even come close to describing it - more like... PURE BRILLIANCE.


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.