I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...are you ready?

Are you sitting down?

I'm "The Glue."

That's it. Nothing more. Apparently, I am The Glue to my friends, and without me, certain social situations erupt into utter chaos.

Wow.

Call me Elmer.

I've always knowingly been the person who helps plan and suggest most social outings, bringing together friends, some of whom independently don't hang out unless we're in the group. I've always enjoyed my role. I just never knew I was such an integral part of things until I: 1) Went away last weekend & 2) Changed offices.

Let's start with #2 first, as that's the easiest one. When I was back at my favorite office recently, I started right back up into the habit of taking breaks with 2 of my work buddies. Most days we would have a breakfast break together and sometimes we'd break again on nice afternoons to take a walk around the building (so I could look in the windows next door). Last week I was talking to one of the guys and when I asked how the other one was, he said, "I don't know. I haven't talked to him much lately. We don't hang out now that you're gone. You were the main piece keeping our group together." Aww. That is so The Sad! My poor guys. They sound so lost! But not as bad as my girls...which leads to....

#1 - When I got back from L.A. last week, Liz immediately informed me that I was officially "The Glue" of our posse and that she and Lucy were a mess without me. "We tried going out on Friday night and it just turned into madness. We were lost without you! Guys were trying to send us drinks and chaos ensued. We wanted to call you on your cell phone." I just laughed as I mentioned that on that same night, some 3000 miles away, I was at 2 different bars, striking up conversations with guys sitting next to me. "You see?!" she yelled back. "We need you! You're THE GLUE!"

Here's the deal: when I hang out with Lucy and Liz and we see boys, we have a whole system down pat. It helps that we each have a different 'type' in terms of guys, so we're not going after the same ones. Part of my job is calling out a guy if I see one enter who fits any of our types. "Liz, your type, near door, red shirt." It's a good job as I've also been called out on my awesome neck-craning skills. I'm like a periscope. Anyway, we've devised this whole system - Lucy is the hottie who gets the guys to look our way. Then, I am the one who initiates contact. (Most of the time it involves my now-famous finger crook - you know, the Universal "Come here" sign. Mine is done with flair. Oh, and they always come over.) Then, Liz is The Great Communicator - she keeps the conversation flowing. The System works very well, but I guess the whole thing just combusts, leaving nothing but smoke and a big word balloon saying "Kabloooey!" when I'm not there to play my part. Words such as "ridiculous" and "spectacle" and "guy-retardant" were used to describe the events of what is now known as The Friday Night When Pam Was Away. As Liz summed it up, "We were completely immobilized."

I heard the whole story and just shook my head, offering what they should have and could have done, but was met with cries of, "We know! We couldn't! We needed you!" Sigh. It's a sad day when I hear stories like that, but at the same time, very nice to know that I am missed and needed. The Glue, huh? I'll take it. It allows me to be a flirt, which is my nature to begin with. And come on, let's face it, I love it. Besides, I could have a worse lot in life. I just wish it had a cooler name.

You know what? Now I want a cooler name for it. But what? I'll need your help, because my mind keeps going to the Elmer's bottle and that damn cow or bull or whatever the hell it is on there. Help! Give me a cool name! Hit up the comments if you can come up with a better name than The Glue. (And I know you can.)

In the meantime, if you need my services, I am available for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Scoping Nights for guys AND girls. I'll help hook you up. After all, it's my job.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.