I went to a wedding yesterday where they had unfortunately hired one of the worst DJs ever. First of all, the wedding was at 10:30 in the morning on a Saturday. Dude, that's what time I get up on Saturdays. Anyway, the reception started around 11:30, and who really wants to get up and boogie at that hour? At one point the DJ started getting antsy and asked my friend what was taking the bride and groom so long to come in. He kept complaining that he had been hired from 11-4 and they were taking their "sweet time" having pictures taken. It was past 11, he was playing music, he was getting paid - what's the big deal? When the happy couple finally did arrive for their grand entrance, the DJ started off by mispronouncing half of the names of the bridal party. Someone had to go over and correct him, but they really weren't hard names to begin with. He later kept mispronouncing the bride's first name until numerous people started shouting out the correct way to say it. It was horrible. If someone is paying me money to do a job like this, I would make sure I knew how to say their name. Just saying. Aside from the mispronounciation, the bad DJ also had some problems with the whole speaking thing, as every other word out of his mouth was "er" or "um" or "okay." Did I mention he looked like a poor man's Neil Diamond?

Just as brunch started and he was getting into spinning the tunes, we were informed that he was asked to play mostly standards and jazz for the whole reception. I don't think I heard one of either the whole rest of the day. During every song he would stand up at his little table and snap his fingers as he sang along. It was embarrassing. The father of the groom was looking over at him at one point and just started laughing, saying, "This guy sucks, huh?" He had this blindingly bright spotlight that he turned on at various times, such as during the best man speech or the dances with the parents, but it didn't really have much effect seeing as it was 12:30 in the AFTERNOON and all of the lights in the room were on. The only thing that damn light accomplished was burning a hole in my cornea as it just happened to be pointing right at me. When the dance floor opened, there was still no sign of any jazz music, but there were plenty of songs that no one can really dance to. Uptempo ballads don't work, my friend. When he noticed people weren't getting into a certain song, he would end it halfway through by seguing into another, equally bad song. We had all given up fighting at our table and just laughed and laughed. Hey, it made for a good time.

Did I mention that he played Oops, I Did It Again? Now in general I really don't have any problems with this song. It's a catchy tune and I don't mind it, but I wouldn't go out and buy the album for it. I'm just saying I won't change the radio station if it comes on. However, even if I like such a cheesy song, I'm not going to expose my dark secret by getting up at a public function and rocking out to it on the dance floor. It's just not done. Also, out of what looked like an impressive number of CDs that he had with him, why would he pick that song to play? Just a little bizarre. The slow songs were even worse. At weddings I expect some Just the Way You Look Tonight or even that damn Unchained Melody for the slow dances. Apparently not when you hire RI's own "Romantic Weddings" DJ extraordinaire. He plays random R&B slow jams that no one has ever heard of. It was so weird. The second-to-worst point of the DJ experience came during the tossing of the bouquet. First let me say that the two people who were married met through church, and although it wasn't an overly strict religious ceremony, there was no alcohol being served and most of the people attending were from church. The DJ had to have known this. So what does he play during the throwing of the bouquet? Like a Virgin. WTF? Not only was it inappropriate at this wedding, but I believe that's inappropriate at any wedding. What. The. Hell.

The worst and most horrifying DJ moment of the day, though, came earlier on in the reception, right at the start of the meal. For some unknown reason, the DJ started playing some instrumental music and then picked up a microphone and started singing. BADLY. Some song I've never even heard, either. He was making all of these constipated faces, just crooning his little heart out. It was pure disaster at its finest. One of my friends just totally lost it and let out this huge cackle and then couldn't stop laughing. Our table was right in the middle of the room, facing the DJ booth, too. I looked over at the groom and saw this look of sheer horror and bewilderment on his face. I think the DJ saw me pointing and laughing at the groom. Thankfully, he didn't sing after that. But it was just all SO bad. SO so bad. Of course, I made sure I wrote down his name and information so I could have a party and hire him just to see what the guests do. Something that bad needs to be celebrated and mocked. Long live the bad DJ! Now who can I throw a party for....

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Joseph Fiennes.
I should really spare you all of the "He's FINE" jokes about his last name, but he really is. Fiennes in Shakespeare in Love with those melted chocolate eyes? FINE.

[Cryptic P.S. Alert! (CTB: You may be a ghost, but know that I love you. Always will.)]

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before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





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