You get to see some interesting people down at the local bowling alley bar. Who even goes in there? Not bowlers. That's what I found the strangest thing - not one of the handful of people in the bar were there to bowl. We were only there ourselves to play pool. The only reason we went is because the bowling alley is next door to the bar we were meeting up at. When we got to the bar, our friends had already been thrown out because one was only 20, so we saw the sign for free pool next door and headed over. Do a lot of people go to bowling alley bars? Am I missing something? This place even has its own entrance and name, 'Sandbaggers.' What does that name even mean? Is that a bowling term? All I know of advanced bowling terminology is 'turkey.' I hope sandbaggers is a bowling term, because outside of that, that's a really weird name for a bowling alley bar unless it has a high percentage of clientele who have a tendency to underbid pitch hands during card games.

In any event, we head into Sandbaggers for the advertised free pool and find that it's not so free. The tables were also on the small side. But hey, we were game for anything, and there wasn't a line for the tables as we were in a bowling alley bar, so we had some fun with it. A short while after we started playing, a couple came and claimed one of the other two tables. It was a little while before we really noticed the woman, but then Lucy looked over and shreiked, "I just saw chubby-lady cleavage!" I looked over and jumped. This woman looked like a mild-mannered semi-mousy soccer mom, but she had boobs the size of Montana and she had on a button-down shirt that was plunging WAY too far down. She must have been showing at least a good 3 inches of cleavage. Sometimes that can frighten small-breasted women like myself. "Oh my God, she's going to kill someone with those! Suffocation! Suffocation! Wait, there's probably someone in there right now, trying to get out! LIVES ARE IN DANGER, PEOPLE!!!" "I bet her nipples are bigger than my head." "What was that famous stripper's name - Chesty Love or Chesty Morgan?" "Why doesn't she wear a shirt that covers those things? I'm scared. (she bends over some more to shoot) I'm blind! I'm blind!!! HELP!" Let me just tell you, those jugs were sca-ry. She needed to harness those things before they escaped and took over the city. Not even Mothra would stand a chance against those puppies. Man.

Throughout the whole night, the bar was playing the radio. Apparently, bowling alley bars don't rank for jukebox or piped-in music status. Anyhoo, out of the 8 or 9 other people in the place, there was a couple who were sitting at the bar mauling each other all night. That's always pleasant as well. I never knew bowling alley bars were so sexy for people. Now bowling alleys themselves, that's another story. Anyone who has seen Grease 2 knows how sex-filled the lanes can be. But back to the PDA-happy folks - the guy looked straight out of the young Sopranos, all Mr. Big and Tough. Then a funny thing happened - the radio started playing a slow song and he and his girlfriend got up and started to dance. In a bowling alley bar. Dancing. Tony Soprano, Jr. Dancing. Bowling Alley. Bar. It was just too weird. I could see if it were more of a club atmosphere, or if there was a DJ, or if there were other people there who were dancing, but no. It was just, "Aw, hon, this is so romantic sitting here with you in this dingy bar here at the back of a bowling alley. Ooh, listen, I love this song. Dance with me...daaaaaaaaance with me...." Ah, romance. Wait. Oh no. I just remembered that my parents met in a bowling alley bar. Oh my God. I hope they didn't get up and dance. Oh my God. Mooooooom!!!!!!!

P.S. If anyone is looking for something good to watch this weekend and you're not easily offended, I heartily recommend The Strangers With Candy Season One DVD set. I've already worn mine out. Paul Dinello, I love you!

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.