I don�t know what I�ve done to my co-workers, but they�ve turned on me. First, they started talking about my play so loudly during lunch time that the Repeating Guy overheard and then proceeded to ask me question after question about it. THEN, he bought a ticket. I will never hear the end of it. After that, two of my co-workers decided to turn into matchmakers, trying to set me up with none other than The Cowardly Lion. No. Just no. They just kept going on about it. It�s a shame no one overheard my earlier phone conversation with Jerry, or else maybe they would have left me alone. Jerry and I were discussing our upcoming road trip to Provincetown, and if any of my co-workers were eavesdropping, they would have heard my side of the conversation:

�Did you find out when transgender week is?�

�So it�s either that or lesbian week?�

�Well, what do you think?! Of course I want to go transgender week!�

�No, I�m not going in that store because they sell anatomically correct sock monkeys.�

�No, I refuse. I�m very against that.�

�Sock monkeys are neuters, everyone knows that.�

After lunch, I found out that my own friend had turned on me as well. Lucy and I have been passing the time at work today to play one of our favorite bar games, whose name we have to tame for work e-mail and call �Marry, Screw, or Kill?� (Boo, work e-mail.) Things were going so well until she hit me with the Double Whammy: Jar Jar Binks, Screech and Milhouse and then Eric Balfour, Jared Leto, and Cillian Murphy (or, as Lucy called him, �That Scarecrow guy you love from Batman.�). Now, the first trio just made me ill. Without question, I had to kill Jar Jar, but then what? I ended up having to nail frigging Milhouse. Milhouse, people. He�s 10! That�s just wrong. (Although I suppose it serves me right for making her bang Chewbacca and marry an Ewok earlier.) However, that second trio is just plain mean. What did I ever do to her? (Mr. Magoo, Elmer Fudd and Snidely Whiplash comes to mind.) I actually physically reeled back in my chair and let out a gasp when I saw those names all put together. What is a girl to do?? I hemmed, I hawed, then I hemmed some more, then I cursed Lucy, then I shook my fist, then back to the hawing, then on to the swearing, then more hemming. I knew I wasn�t going to kill Balfour, so that made things a little easier. Then I weighed the pros and cons. Sure, Jared Leto has been voted my hottest male celebrity for about 8 years running, but then there�s the business about him performing in goth makeup and dating an Olsen twin. Demerits, Leto. Then there�s Cillian Murphy and those eyes and those�LIPS. In the end, the lips left me a broken woman until I sadly had to kill Jared Leto. I never thought I�d see the day. Of course, I�m probably going to be kicking myself when I go see him in person next week, but seriously, HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE LIPS????? They�re like pillows! And those eyes? Good lord. [sniff] I�m still mourning the Leto choice, though, but I�m sure my new husband Eric Balfour can help me out. Hells yeah.

Speaking of Mr. Balfour, I�m giving the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a big middle finger. I was watching it the other night, all excited to see that he was one of the main characters, because that bodes well for horror movie characters. (Well, and because he was looking uberhot.) Fast forward fifteen minutes or so and he is THE FIRST ONE KILLED. What the hell??? Then, just to add insult to injury, Leatherface shows up not long after WEARING HIS FACE that he ripped off of him. I threw the DVD downstairs in disgust, yelling, �This is bullshit! I didn�t pay $2 to watch Jessica Biel run around in a tank top for 45 minutes!!!!� (Thank God for the fast forward button.)

Ooh, and this just in: now to end my perfect day at work, I have been informed that they�re going to be moving me to the other end of the building soon, down near Repeating Guy, Loud Radio man, and The Office Snack Fairy (Hi & Lois Lover) and far away from the soothing voice of The Cowardly Lion. Where do I register my protest?


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.