Oh man, I am such a bumbling fool. AGAIN. I saw my fake boyfriend TB last night and I'm pretty sure I completely solidified my status as "ass" in his eyes. I should have never complained about not having anything to say to him. That was probably a good thing, because when I did finally say something to him, I said something that was inappropriate. Surprised? Didn't think so. Let me recap the incident: I was at the mall with my friend Jerry and asked if we could stop in to Abercrombie to see if my church boy was working. Jerry refers to him as "the 12 year-old." He was curious to see this wonder that I speak of, so we headed in. Halfway into the store I spotted Mr. Prettier-than-Jake-Gyllenhaal at the counter. Jerry was quite amused at my complete loss of motor abilities upon seeing such a sight. I have never bought anything at that store, but thankfully I was frozen in a spot right in front of a cute shirt that was on sale really cheap, so I managed to will my feet to move their way over to the register. I should note that it all pretty much goes downhill from the really good price on the shirt. Anyhoo, I waited until he didn't have anyone in line to go over. He smiled when he saw me coming and gave a little nod with the too-cool-for-school "hey." [Side note to Strangers With Candy fans - he SO reminds me of Paul Rudd's character in the final episode.] I then shamelessly set my Victoria's Secret bag on the counter in plain view while I searched for my wallet before launching into this gem of an exchange:

PAM: I didn't know you worked here. (Always a good idea to start off with a lie)

TB: Yeah

PAM: Do you like it? (Pam, you're an idiot)

TB: Yeah

PAM: You look like an Abercrombie person. You should be in the catalog.

TB: Nah, I'd have to be naked to be in that.

How I kept my cool and didn't start panting or widen my eyes at the mere sound of him saying the word 'naked' I will never know. But I somehow totally blocked that out as I just said the first thing that came to my mind....

PAM: And?

This caused him to break out in a huge smile and do an aww-shucks head hang, but I was mortified that I said it out loud because I said it kind of...um...lustily. I can't ask simple things like "How are you?" or "Have you been surfing lately?" or "How 'bout them Red Sox?" No, I just jump right into insinuating that I'd like to see him naked. Jiminy Cricket. And this whole exchange happens BEFORE he starts ringing up my shirt, so I'm just left standing there like a fool, trying to come up with something to say. My head is once again screaming at me to speak, to smile, to SAY SOMETHING, DAMMIT! but I just stand there and clumsily fumble around with my wallet. To make matters worse, he kept messing up something with the cash register, so I had extra time to keep conversing with him but again stood there like a ninny. I am so smooth I don't even know what to do with myself. I finally got to pay for my shirt and then added a quick, "I hope you put it in a bag with a guy on it. (SHUT UP, PAM!!! Seriously, stop talking)" He smiled and said, "Of course," and I just said "See ya' later" and hauled ass out of there. If anyone would like to sign up for my class on how to talk to boys, please, let me know. Cripes.

(In happier news, I got another good sign from the ma-an that I met the other day. I'm going to have to come up with a name for him, but I'm all out of the 'witty' tonight. Le sigh.)

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Rick Springfield
My first concert, back in 1983. I had two t-shirts when I was a kid that I got at the local iron-on place that I would wear ALL the time. One of them even had my name on the back. Aww yeah. His Greatest Hits CD still ranks as one of the best. And he's still kinda pretty. And I'll still never forgive my mom for yelling, "Ew!" and diving out of the way of a sweaty bandanna that he threw right to her at the concert.

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before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.