I will admit it right now, I�m extremely coffee illiterate. I don�t drink coffee, I don�t like coffee, and coffee doesn�t like me. I know nothing of the whole sub-culture that is the coffee world. This is probably why I hate going to Starbucks. I always feel like a damn fool when I go there. I like their goodies though, so every once in a while I�ll stop in for some tea and a treat. (Their milk chocolate covered graham crackers are insanely good) But that place is like a foreign land to me. There�s too many goodies to look at and too many menus and the people who work there just jump on you when you come in. I can�t take the pressure! I break out in a cold sweat as my eyes dart around trying to absorb everything at once while also trying to utter something more than, �Uhhhhh�.� Thankfully I have my tea to order first so I can look around and assess the goodies. Lucy once got so flustered not knowing where to look at a chicken place that she ordered cooked carrots even though she doesn�t really like them all that much. �It was the first thing I saw! The guy working there was just staring at me!!! I panicked!!!� Panic and cooked carrots are never a good combination. Anyway, I offered to get something at Starbucks for one of my friends from work, so he asked me to get him a double espresso. After I had paid, I still only saw one cup for my tea, so I asked about the espresso. The girl helping me just snorted and instructed me that it was on the bar. Insert me sheepishly looking around for said bar. Next time I should just wear a t-shirt that says �Coffee Illiterate: Please Be Gentle.� Actually, no. That Starbucks twit should get off of her foam chai grande latte high horse. Listen, chick: Tall, double, frappi-shove-it-up-your-ass, it�s a SMALL cup, for crying out loud � now just back off and let me look to see what I want, beeyotch! Phew. Sorry, I get a little fired up about the Starbuckian snoot. My final coffee-illiterate shame came when I picked up the paper cup that the double espresso was in. Remember now, I know nothing. I�d never seen a double espresso before, let alone pick up a cup that was supposedly holding one. So there I stood in the middle of the room wondering why the cup was filled with air. I started looking around to see if I missed a step at the bar. Then I popped the lid on the cup and noticed what looked like the drippy remains of 2 ounces of yesterday�s coffee. By that time, I had had enough embarrassment for one day, so I just grabbed everything and left. Thankfully, I found out that double espressos ARE that small. Caffeine doesn�t really keep me awake at all, so to that little cup of nothing I say: rip-off! I�m happy now to be an outsider to coffee country. Just please let me in long enough to grab some chocolate covered graham crackers.

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Rob Lowe
He seems to get prettier by the year, if that's even possible. He's also got the coveted good sense of humor. Impossibly good-looking and funny? Damn you, Lowe!!

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before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.