Things That Were Declared �Dead To Me!� Last Night:

We�ll start with my right eye, which is what started my whole �dead to me� rant last night. I�ve been having some trouble with my left eye lately, which has been my �good� eye for years. For some unknown reason, in one year�s time, my prescription more than doubled in my left eye, which was quite unsettling to both me and my eye doctor. My right eye is just a joke. I was trying to explain this to Lucy last night, telling her that when I went to get my new contacts checked yesterday, my eye doctor�s secretary was checking my right eye with my contact lens in and was horrified that I couldn�t see anything. I was just laughing, but seriously, I can�t see the line below the huge �E.� I can see the big E, but it�s blurry. That�s with my contact lens IN. My right eye? Dead to me.

Lucy found my proclamation of this funny for some reason, which just started me laughing and then sent me on a rant when the radio started playing The Red Hot Chili Peppers. After Give it Away, it just all went downhill. Their new stuff goes right up my ass to the point where I have to change the radio station whenever it comes on because my stomach weeps. Unfortunately, I changed the station to one that was playing Hollaback Girl, and I kind of went, well, B-A-N-A-N-A-S, and now Gwen Stefani is officially dead to me. Where did it all go wrong, Gwen? Because we used to be cool with each other, but now�not so much. More spiderwebs and less "luxurious" marching band crap, please. I�m now thinking that my radio may be dead to me, because a few minutes later, I flipped out again:

RADIO: �Look at this photograph�.�

PAM: Aaaagghhh! (lunging to change channel) Stupid bastard Nickelback song. This song is DEAD TO ME. Seriously, can they play it any more?

LUCY: It wasn�t bad when it first came out, but now it�s tired.

PAM: And you know what? Maybe I don�t want to look at your damn photograph, Chad �Once Voted Ugliest Man in Rock� Kroeger, because you and your band and your song and your damn friggin� photograph are all DEAD TO ME!

LUCY: He is pretty ugly.

PAM: DEAD! TO! ME!

This all ended this morning with the announcement that Dwight Eisenhower is dead to me, but that one really can�t be explained. You�ll just have to take my word for it.

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In other news, Lucy and I witnessed something last night that I didn�t know still went on. Why do guys still feel the need to leave the �I�m not gay� buffer seat when they go out together? I figured Seinfeld would have shamed guys away from doing this, but I still see it at the movie theater a lot. Boys, why do you do this? You look like idiots. Last night�s example was even worse as it was at a bar. I�ve never seen two guys do this at a bar before, leaving a stool open between them. These two guys were actually leaning forward to hear each other last night. When I asked my friend Dee for a guy�s opinion about this, he confirmed that it�s idiotic, and that he goes to bars with friends because he wants to talk to them. He did, however, point out that he leaves a urinal buffer in the bathroom. I reassured him that that was a whole different animal. But I still just don�t get this movie seat and bar stool buffer thing. Do guys all over the place do this? Do they know that we don�t think they are gay if they are sitting next to each other in a movie theater or a bar? We do, however, think they look like morons when they leave a seat between them. Way to get �em, boys.

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Speaking of boys, last night Lucy and I were discussing what I would want if there was a Build-a-Boy Workshop in town. I started with my new realization that guys who sing and play the piano really do it for me. I�ve always had a thing for musicians, but it�s the piano-banging singers that really drive me crazy. You�d think having Taylor Hanson as my Celebrity Boyfriend for 8 years would have clued me into this already, but it took some DeGraw to really drive the point home. Good Lord. Anyway, so yes, in my Build-a-Boy Workshop, I was building a piano-playing singer. I then added a toque, and Lucy told me not to forget the wallet chain. Lord, how I love some battered jeans with a wallet chain hanging out. Oh, and the toque. And yes, I know I�m weird, but work with me here. My boy was also scrawny with the t-shirt over the long-sleeved t-shirt. By the time Lucy topped it all off with slightly unkempt hair, I was ready to build the workshop myself. The 2 best things about all of this are: 1) I never actually end up dating anyone like this, and 2) Right after we built this fantasy boy, Lucy looked up, gasped and pointed at a nearby table at the restaurant. There sat a cute, unkempt boy in a toque. Just as we were assessing him, he was blocked by a girl�s head popping up from leaning over to get her money. Lucy and I, in unison, �Ohh! Wah wah waaawaahwaaaah!!!� Gotta love those Price Is Right horns of defeat. But seriously, let's get working on this workshop thing.


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.