As is becoming tradition here on the ol� site, I�ll be sharing my random thoughts and observations from watching the latest awards show. Well, let me clarify: the latest actual awards show. Billboard, People�s Choice, Radio Awards, etc. need not apply. So tonight is the first big one of the year, the ol� Golden Globes. Booze will be flowing, ugly dresses are sure to be abound, and maybe � just MAYBE we�ll be gifted with an embarrassing speech which includes both the aforementioned ugly dress and aftereffects of too much booze. Keep your fingers crossed. Now let me just get settled into my �Party of the Year� seat here�and�there. Ahhhh. Let�s begin, shall we?

8:01 PM � This �Hey Ya� intro is making me sick. Make it stop. Please?

8:04 PM - Why does Clint Eastwood look like he�s made out of wax?

8:06 PM - Oh my. �Hi, I�m Kim Cattrall�s crotch.� I sure hope she�s wearing underwear.

8:09 PM � Why didn�t God tell Amber Tamblyn that her lipstick was too bright? Jennifer Garner looks really pretty tonight. AND she gets to go home to Michael Vartan. Lucky bitch.

8:12 PM � Yay, Renee! You should have gotten that way back for Jerry Maguire. Love y�wait, they�re showing Jude Law. [droooooooooooooooooool] Damn, he fine. DAYAM. You wanna know what it�s all about Alfie? C�mere, I�ll show you � it�s in my pants. Word.

8:18 PM � Shut up, Dick Clark.

8:27 PM - Hotness, Part Deux: Keanu.

8:29 PM � Wow, Al Pacino looks like he just rolled out from under a rock. I�m half expecting him to have plastic bags over his shoes.

8:31 PM � I�m bored. When does this so-called �Party of the Year� start?

8:34 PM � Sharon Stone and J. Lo sitting next to each other? Armageddon can�t be far off now.

8:42 PM � Elton John scares me.

8:46 PM � WHY is Fergie there?

8:49 PM � I�m bored again. Oh my God, I haven�t even hit an hour yet? Where is the party??? Every minute that goes by I�m closer to calling child services to report Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith for abuse for putting their child�s hair in cornrows. That�s just cruel, yo.

9:01 PM � Hotness, Part Three: Hi, Johnny Depp. [rowr!]

9:11 PM � I�m taping The Surreal Life to watch this? Man, this sucks. WHEN does the party start?? Aaagggh! Sharon Stone again! Man, she annoys the piss out of me.

9:19 PM � You know, I really thought Elijah Wood would grow up to be a lot better looking than he is. Hey, remember when Macauley Culkin warned him, �Don�t f*ck with me�? Yeah, that was cheesy, but awesome. Angry Mac!!! Angry Mac!!! Man, anything will amuse me at this point. Is this over yet?

9:38 PM � 22 minutes left! Woo! Wait, this ends at 11? WTF? Am I being Punk�d? Oh my God, I just made a Punk�d joke. Someone kill me now. Please. Just put me out of my misery.

9:40 PM � Hey, that Lassie commercial for GE just made a Matrix joke. How�current and original. Seriously, scratch my eyes out now.

9:41 PM � Ooh, time for the Cecil B. DeMille Awa�zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

9:49 PM � I really hate Sharon Stone.

9:56 PM � zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10:09 PM � I think I�m going blind from Brittany Murphy�s dress.

10:41 PM � I�m ready to weep and give up. So, so bored. Also? Shut up, Dick Clark. Again.

10:44 PM � AAAGGHHH!! Bald Jim Carrey just woke me right up. Holy crap.

10:46 PM - Yay, Lost in Translation!

10:55 PM - It's over? Really? Woo! Wait, I taped The Simpsons to sit through that? Shit. 'Party of the Year,' my ass.

Wow. That was boring. If that was indeed the 'Party of the Year,' then this year is going to suck. I'll be hibernating until 2005 if you need me.

Co-Worker Fashion Faux Pas of the Day: Black velevet and ruffles.
Oh man. We had our work after-holiday party the other night and The Dunce showed up in her "new" dress that looked straight out of Prom Season, 1988. Black velvet with short sleeves capped off with ruffles, and a diagonal ruffle going across the waist. The best part was that I saw her once at the beginning of the night and she introduced me to 2 friends of hers. I then saw her again at the end of the night and she was COMPLETELY tanked. She introduced me to the same 2 people again, slurring the whole time. Awesome.

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before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





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