My 85 year-old grandmother doesn't wear underwear.

Hey people, if I have to suffer through this knowledge, I'm sharing it so I don't have to suffer alone. Someone else must say, "Ew! Oh! Ack!" along with me. Sorry it had to be you. Anyway, this all came about when my mom was relating a story to me this morning about taking my grandmother to the emergency room last night and a nurse asking her to take off her pantyhose so she could have an EKG. I understand now why she was hesitant to take off her pantyhose. I'm also flummoxed that she still thinks all pantyhose are Underalls. I think the main reason for this is that it will save my grandmother money on doing laundry. I'm sure that's how she looks at it. But still. My mom also decided to add insult to injury and taunt me as I sat on the couch, rocking in a fetal position, by adding, "Hey, at least we know now why Grandma never has any panty lines. Hee Hee!" I just screamed and begged her to stop. I'm still shuddering.

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In other news, I went to the karaoke contest last night, but my name wasn't picked out of the big drum to compete. Oh well. I still managed to have two interesting things happen to me while I was there. First, I ran into a guy that I went to college with who used to have a big crush on Lucy. I just started laughing, because all I could think of while he was talking to me was this ridiculous poem we had written about him. One day in college when we were quite bored and quite silly, Lucy and I came up with these ridiculous short poems about random people that we knew. They all had to be recited in this strange accent and all of them ended with a simple "Thank you" and a head nod. It's funny, because we can only remember two of them, but the one for this guy I was talking to was one of them:

Jay Walker, Jay Walker
Do not be a stalker
She don't like you!
Thank You

If that's not poetry, I don't know what is. I believe the other one was simply:

David, David
Naked, Naked
Thank You

We liked to get right to the point.

The other odd thing that happened last night took place in the bathroom. Chalk up another weird bathroom story for Pam. What the hell? Do people just wait for me to come into the bathroom to do odd things? Anyway, as I was drying my hands, I heard a woman in one of the stalls start talking on her cell phone. The best part is that she wasn't answering a call, she was making one. Why??? And it wasn't a call saying she was sick or dying in there. That I would let slide. No, this was just a general, shooting the breeze call. Why?? What is wrong with people?? Who does that??? "Hi, I'm in the bathroom at the race track taking a whiz. What's going on with you?" WTF.

Oh, and in case I didn't tell you, my 85 year-old grandmother goes commando.

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Christian Bale
My man has just been cast as the new Batman. Woo! I'll still love him from Little Women and his sweet ass in American Psycho. But I'll take him in the Batsuit. Now where did I put my Catwoman outfit?

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before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.