"It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive...I'm not an addict baby, that's a lie...."

Damn you, Hoyle Card Games 2004!! Why did I buy you? Why did you have to taunt me so in the store? I was very content just browsing the software, la la lee, loo loo loo, until you practically begged me to buy you. You screamed at me from the shelf, "Look! I have pitch! I BESEECH YOU, OH WANTON CARD WHORE, BUY ME!!!!!!"

Or something like that.

So I did.

But then when I brought you home I tried to be strong. I ignored you for a while and let you sit on the bed. I was playing hard to get, you know. Then when I finally did open you up, I still tried to act all aloof and too-cool-for-school. I flippantly declared that I'd just play one round of cards and then go do something more worthwhile. I tried to resist your charms. I fought and fought and fought and then I finally gave up the hopeless charade. You had me at 'install.' [sigh]

My "oh I'll just sit here and play around for about ten minutes, pass some time before dinner," became "I must bring my dinner to my desk because I simply Can't. Stop. Playing." Gah. I finally broke your evil spell that night, and I tossed you aside out of view. All the better to resist your temptation. But you're smarter than that, aren't you? Tell me, were you sending subliminal messages in my sleep? Or maybe it was something more diabolical. You saucy minx, you. All I know is that it brought me back to you today. But I was armed and ready. I had my tiny fists of fury at the ready and a mind to "just play for 15 minutes or so." But then you did that thing that you know gets me every time. You're a wily one, you. Yes, you did it. You beat me in cards. How did you know that would keep me coming back for more? I guess when you have a relationship like ours, you just know things like that. So I just want you to know right now that I'm not going to resist the temptation anymore. I'm giving in, I am yours. And with that, I have just four simple words for you to show you how much I feel for you: Bring it on, bitchcakes.

This has been my evening thus far - battling it out with my expert computer opponents in pitch, hearts, and gin. Hell, I even played Old Maid with the little bastards. Anything. My mother was downstairs while I was playing and every so often she'd yell up, "What is going on up there?" "Who are you yelling at?" "Why are you laughing?" "What are you doing?!" I don't know why she would be saying such things. Maybe it was from hearing me loudly proclaiming such things as:

"Oh I see how it is, Roswell. Bring it on, you little bitch."

"Your ass is mine, Harley. C'mon bear, you want a piece of this?"

"Stop knocking!!! AAGGHH!! The alien is kicking my ass! Hey! I said stop knocking!"

"Dammit!!"

"Aww yeah," [hand gun gestures flying wildly] "that is called 'Shooting the Moon,' my friends. How do you like me now? That's right, bear bitch!"

"Ha-HA!"

"Stop knocking!!!!"

"Well played, Jack. But I'm afraid your ass is grass now, mister."

"Oh, you are EATING the Queen, you little bastard!"

"Who dealt this mess?"

"Shut up!"

"Dammit!"

"I don't want to be the Old Maid!"

"Oh game on now, you little peckers. Bring it."

"He's going to knock, I just know it."

"Son of a bitch!"

"Oh, we're going again. You better believe that."

"STOP KNOCKING!!! Gah!"

It doesn't sound this way, but I highly recommend this game for anyone who likes to play cards. And oh no, it's not addictive. Er...um, yeah, not at all. Ahem. (I swear I'm going to be yelling out bids in my sleep tonight. "Smudge!") Anyhoo, I've never found a computer game with pitch before, and it's a blast. If you do play, make sure you play with Roswell. He's my boy. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some parrot ass to kick....

CD Pick of the Day: Music? Who can listen to music? I've got cards to play!!!!

Comments? Sign the book.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.