This censorship thing is getting a little ridiculous, y�all. I finally got around to watching some of the Green Day episode of Vh-1 Storytellers and I was horrified by the lyrics that were being blocked out. I understand the profanity, as Green Day are very fond of the f-word sometimes, but some of the other words and phrases were quite puzzling. Now I can see why MTV and some radio stations block out the word �faggot,� but the context that it�s used in isn�t really derogatory. It�s kind of used in a sarcastic fashion, right before a line that actually is more derogatory, mentioning the �redneck agenda.� I see both sides of this, but it�s kind of foolish to block one out and leave the other one in. If you�re going to block out �faggot,� then why is it okay to use other epithets? I guess it�s because redneck is kind of a celebrated term by those who feel they embody it. (Although Kelly on The Amazing Race will tell you that it�s not meant as a compliment.) I don�t know � blame Jeff Foxworthy. �Queer� is probably more accepted now just because of the Fab Five, which doesn�t make any sense to me. I don�t know. Wait, the whole faggot ballyhoo wasn�t even what was bugging me about the whole word-bleeping thing anyway. It was them blocking out �mary jane,� �cocaine� and �dope.� It�s not like they�re sitting on stage and doing it, Vh-1. What the hell? So Snoop can sing about Gin and Juice and have videos full of underage-looking boozehounds, but Green Day can�t mention the word �dope� in passing during a concert? (Side note: nothing against the Snoop � I love him so.) Poor Dr. Dre � the way things are getting, we�ll be referring to The Chronic as �The Album That Shall Not Be Named.� And Dear Glenn Frey: Forget about trying to sing Smuggler�s Blues on TV again. Those days are over, my friend.

Of course, the one thing that came right to my mind during all of this was that Eric Clapton classic tune, Cocaine. We used to love that song when we were younger. Maybe it�s true that the world was a different place then, but still. Miami Vice was where I was taught that drugs = bad. Oh, Crockett and Tubbs, how you molded our young minds! The �bad guys� on that show really did have the aforementioned Smuggler�s Blues. And yes, I thought I knew so much from that show that I used to think that they were talking about �keyloads� of cocaine. I didn�t understand where that word came from, but I never questioned it, either. You know, it was one of those hard-core drug words. Look at me and my hard-core 10 year-old self, saying �keyloads.� Look out for me!

This superior knowledge of the drug world all seeped over into our home movies when we were younger. 1985 saw the debut of our masterpiece, R.I. Vice. I got rave reviews for my portrayal of a crooked drug lord who killed poor elderly men who didn�t deliver my �keyloads� of cocaine (little Glad sandwich bags full of baby powder) to me on time. Of course, I had to die for my wrongdoings because of all of the drug badness. Clearly. But hey, I guess that worked better for our young minds then just being shielded from the word �cocaine� until we were older and didn�t know anything about it, thus making us more likely to dive right in. Crockett and Tubb�s brand of justice made us scared, yo! We knew to stay away or we�d be getting shot off of a boat or something. Scared!!!! I�m sure Phil Collins� fine acting work made us all the more wary of the whole scene. Yes, that MUST be it. Drugs are bad! Look at what they do to mean Phil Collins!!

Anyway � so yeah. I can understand not wanting to see Janet Jackson�s mammaries on TV, but this is getting a little out of hand. If you don�t want your kids to hear the dangers of the word �dope� being sung really fast, don�t let them watch the Green Day concert. Simple as that. And maybe I was sheltered, but there was no way I would have even known what �mary jane� meant when I was a young and impressionable tween. In my world, I probably would have been singing right along with Green Day at the top of my lungs, not even knowing what I was singing about. But hell, knowing me, I would have thought they were saying keyloads.

********************

Okay, so this short little story won�t make any sense if you haven�t seen Dude, Where�s My Car. But if you have�.

I called to order Chinese food on Saturday night. I�m generally not good with understanding some of the heavier Chinese accents that some of the workers at this particular restaurant have, but my brother insists that I call. Anyway, I called the other night and had this exchange take place:

PAM: I�ll have a number 19 combo.

WOMAN AT RESTAURANT: Okayaaand?

PAM: � [mind goes blank]

INSIDE PAM�S HEAD: What? Wait, what did she say? Did she? Wait, what was the next thing I was going to order? Shit! Oh�

PAM: And an order of chicken wings with oyster sauce.

WOMAN: Okayaaand??

PAM: � [covering mouth to stifle laugh while dancing around in disbelief]

INSIDE PAM�S HEAD: HEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don�t laugh, don�t laugh, don�t laugh. Oh my God, I wonder if she�s ever seen Dude Where�s My Car? Oh no, if she says it again, what will I do? I could say, �And then put it in a bag because I�m ready to eat.� No! Oh God, oh God, HEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luckily, I was able to change my inflection on my last order so that she knew it was the last thing and I didn�t have to endure another �okayaaaand� because seriously � it was all I could do to keep it together. Awesome.


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.