Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

I saw a woman today who had those Guiness Book of World Records fingernails. It was disgusting and creepy. WAY creepy. And every finger was like that. Uncurled they were probably about 15 inches long. [shudder] I was at a function with Jerry and my parents when we saw her, and Jerry and I couldn't stop staring. We were totally fascinated, yet completely weirded out and horrified. My father had the heebie jeebies. Although we were all thinking it, my mom was the first to blurt out, "How does she wipe her ass?" I'm still wondering about that one. How does this woman do many things? She must use a pen or a stick of some sort to dial the phone. I imagine she uses her knuckles to press elevator buttons. What about if she has something in her eye? I think she's totally screwed there. Ditto on something in her teeth. There are so many things I wonder how she does that it would drive me crazy for at least 16 hours. I think I need to find out who she is and call her. As soon as she answers the phone I'll just jump right in - "How do you unwrap gifts? Do you have a personal stick? Do you have a bidet?" How does she sleep with those things? Aaagghh! I have to stop thinking about it, because it will drive me crazy. But seriously, how does she wipe her ass?

In other randomness, I met a David Puddy last night. It was so funny. Lucy and I went to "our" bar and started chatting with these two guys next to us. Tony was the David Puddy guy. He sold cars and he was the typical lovable dumb lunk. Totally cute, but not much happening upstairs. He asked us how we were doing about 6 times when he met us. After he had a few drinks, everything that came out of my mouth was comic gold to him, and he felt the need to keep lifting up his hand for me to grasp while he shook it and said, "All right!" It was a definite relative of the high five. After about the fourth time he did it, I couldn't look at Lucy because she was pinching my arm and I knew I would just lose it. He was fun to chat with, though. He asked what I look for in a guy, and when I mentioned that it wasn't a requirement but I like a guy to know who Oran' Juice Jones is, he started laughing and singing The Rain. That was a plus and he was a nice guy, but not my type at all. My last boyfriend was a definite card-carrying metrosexual. I don't go for the big and buff jocks. But I did entertain Tony quite a bit. Lucy and I may even go to a happy hour that he invited us to on Friday. He said he's got some nice friends, so hey. Me and Lucy and a bunch of nice guys? Word. I wonder if Tony has a man fur or an 8-ball jacket. I'm going to have to go just so I can find out. High five!

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Tom Welling
Sexy Lexy isn't the only hottie on Smallville. Clark in the white t-shirt? Oh yes. Clark in no shirt? Even better.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.