Once again, I feel older than my years because I've been complaining about the loud music from my new next-door neighbors all day. Normally, loud neighbor music doesn't bother me much, but this time it does because the music is bad. If you're going to crank some tunes, at least pick some that I might like to rock out to as well. I think it may be the curse of that house, too. The last inhabitants used to listen to bad music out by the pool, but at least they kept it at a reasonable volume so that only once in a while, if the wind blew just right, I might catch a small sampling of Seal or James Taylor. These new neighbors? Too loud. And too long. It's 7:45 PM right now and the birthday party and tunes are still going on from when I noticed them first at 11:30 this morning. I was lucky enough to be treated to Lionel Richie's Greatest Hits as I read the Sunday paper. I must also point out that I was inside my house at the time. When I'm inside and can hear your crappy music, it's a touch too loud. I drowned it out a little while later with turning on the A/C, and my mom told me she could hear Wham playing when she came home. Now that I might not mind. It figures I miss some good ol' fashioned 'I'm Your Man.' Instead, when I went outside later to go in my pool, I was blessed with Cher's Greatest Hits. I don't mind some Cher every now and then, but over an hour of Cher tunes can drain a straight girl's will to live. I even had my own radio outside for myself, but its sounds were overtaken way too often. I admitted defeat a little later and went inside to enjoy the rattling of the air conditioner. When I went back outside about an hour and a half later, there seemed to be an 80's compilation CD playing. Also, the music seemed to be even louder. 80's music is normally a good thing, as I am a child of the 80's, but this CD didn't really showcase the decade's best tunes. I was a little excited at first when I heard 'Let's Hear it For the Boy' - I thought I was going to be treated to the Footloose soundtrack. No, instead I got some Toto and 'Rosanna' next. When the opening strains to that Billy Idol catastrophe 'Eyes Without a Face' started up a few songs later, I just cut my losses and hauled ass inside. Damn bad music neighbors. I'm going to have to plot my musical revenge now. I'm going to have to make a CD to play very loudly in my yard for the next sunny weekend day. Sorry in advance to all of my other neighbors, but these people are asking for it. But what songs to put on it? Hmmm. Dammit, the music is still going on now! Sheesh.
At least I did have some decent entertainment today in the form of a conversation with my friend Kevin. Apparently, his part-time employed ass isn't half as worried about the high unemployment rate as he is about his inability to find a girl to make out with. It's summer, isn't that the season for flings? Apparently not.
KEVIN: So remember that girl I was telling you about from last week? I saw her again and she was flirting with me all night. She was hinting about all kinds of things, saying that she was telling all of her friends about the good neck massage I gave her last week. And she kept kissing me on the cheek all night, saying how funny I was.
PAM: Ooh, she wants you! You go!
KEVIN: Yeah, that's what I thought, but then when I flirted back, she wasn't interested any more.
PAM: What happened?
KEVIN: I have no idea! And I pulled out all the stops, too. I did everything short of slipping her a roofie. I used my whole bag of tricks!
PAM: Oh man, so what are you going to do now?
KEVIN: I don't know, got any roofies?
PAM: Oh, be quiet, you're a cutie. You don't have to resort to slipping a girl a mickey. Wait until you at least lose your hair or something.
KEVIN: Yeah, I'm just sick of it all. I met another girl the other night at the bar where my roommate works, and she was all over me the whole night, and then right before the bar was closing, she mentions her boyfriend. Dammit! I think I'm going to get a shirt that says, "If you have a boyfriend, don't even bother talking to me." (sings) "Quit playing games with my heart...."
PAM: Yeah, that shirt will go over real well with the ladies. Boy, things must be bad when you start singing boy band songs.
KEVIN: (in a falsetto) "We don't need your games...."
PAM: (stunned silence) Wha....
KEVIN: Wasn't that from their hip-hop album? "We don't need your games...The D-O-N-N-I-E...."
PAM: Oh my God, how do you even know that?
KEVIN: I don't know. But I didn't have the album!!
PAM: They were NKOTB then. "No more games boy, so what you sayin'? Beat the somethingness 'cause Donnie ain't playin', witness the quickness as I kick this, I'm on a mission so listen as I dismiss all this negativity by takin' a stand...." OH MY GOD I DIDN'T JUST SAY ALL OF THAT.
KEVIN: "We don't need your games...." Maybe I can sing this to her, "This is the moment when 2 become 1...."
PAM: Okay, when you start singing the Spice Girls, it's time to hang up on you.
I told Lucy about my New Kids indiscretion, and as I started repeating the beginning of the rap to her, we both recited the whole thing in unison. The WHOLE thing.
PAM: How do we know all of that?
LUCY: I don't know. Why do we remember it?
PAM: That is really taking up valuable brain space.
LUCY: Maybe that's why I've been feeling dumb lately - my brain is full of random New Kids on The Block lyrics.
PAM: Isn't there some kind of surgery we can have to fix that? Free up some space? I really, really don't need to have NKOTB lyrics embedded in my brain.
LUCY: Maybe you can have a lobotomy that just removes that part of your brain.
PAM: Nah, I want to keep my whole brain. Maybe they can just go in and vacuum those parts out.
LUCY: Yeah, suck out the gray matter that holds any New Kids on the Block knowledge.
PAM: That would be ideal. I think we need to look into this.
If anyone knows of any experimental procedures like this, let us know. Or better yet, to any doctors or scientists out there, this is your next project. Please, I don't want to be at a fancy cocktail party somewhere where I involuntarily start waving my hands high in the air while doing the running man and singing, "Woh oh oh oh oh, Hangin' Tough!" God help us all.
before & after
2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile
Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.