Woo!

I hardly ever mention any of my medical maladies here, but I'm in the mood today, so bear with me. I told Lucy last night that if I were a Native American, my name would be Princess Pyridia, which would translate to "Orange Crotch." My crotch is orange! Well, not really. I landed the always pleasant UTI last week, and in addition to my antibiotic, I got some Pyridium - aka The Wonder Pill. It takes away any pain or feeling like you absolutely, positively MUST go to the bathroom this instant. The only problem is that it turns all of your pee this neon orange color. It would be really freaky if you weren't expecting it. One of the pills started dissolving in my hand and I had this yellow-orange stain in my palm for the rest of the day. That bitch wouldn't wash off! This leads to my orange crotch. Since it's passing through there, it's only natural that it would stain some areas for a few hours. Jiminy Cricket. I'm not enough of a freak already, now I have to walk around with an orange crotch? Lord almighty. I wonder if that's one of the main highlights of the ever popular Oompa Loompa porn that all the kids are searching for these days. I think I'm just trying to see how many times I can say 'orange crotch' in one entry. Orange crotch! Orange crotch! That would be such a great band name, although it might be misheard as 'Orange Crush' and then it's just a waste. I'm sticking with Slut Puppies or Purple Corduroy. Thankfully, I am no longer in need of the magic pill and my crotch is back to its normal appearance. I had to remember to keep it away from any boys this weekend in order to avoid any questions or weird rumors starting about me. Hey, I could have always said that I got it from an Oompa Loompa. I hear that's all the rage these days. Oompa Loompa Doompity Do Me, baby....

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Michael Vartan
Yes, I know all of you ladies love your Vaughn, but I'm still old school with the loving of the Never Been Kissed Vartan. Hot AND he speaks fluent French? Word. And sorry Noel, as much as I love you, I'd drop you for Michael Vartan, too.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.