I love you. Please don't ever leave me. You make my belly feel so good, baby. Only you can satisfy the yearning in the loins of my stomach. You and Hershey's chocolate fulfill all of my carnal food desires. I can still feel and taste you for hours after I have some of your barbecued goodness. Ow, baby, that's some good stuff right there. If our love were legal in any of the fifty states, I would move there and marry you. Maybe we can try Canada. I love you....

Pam

I had the second best ribs ever today. We had a picnic at work and our own Iron Chef of the office made some of the best freakin' ribs I have ever had in my life. Lucky for me, we had WAY too much food for everyone so I got to bring some home. I'm all set for at least 3 meals. I am going to be so ribtastic this week it's not even funny. I don't know why, but I hardly ever eat ribs. Maybe it's so that when I do, it's a real treat. I salivate and pant just driving by the local Smokey Bones restaurant. Damn that Pavlov. Maybe I limit myself because I know that no ribs can ever replace my first love, no matter how hard they may try. Today's ribs were phenomenal, but they didn't even come close to my true ribs love.

We met years and years ago when I was but a wee child. I was at my father's company picnic, just a young and innocent girl looking to satisfy her hunger. I decided to try the barbecue ribs, and from the first taste I was never the same. Suddenly, life became life to me. Colors were more vibrant, jokes were even funnier, and I learned what real hunger was. Do you think the ribs were laced with pot? All I know is that I must have eaten 2 plates full of them and I still hungered for more. Every year after that I looked forward to the picnic just for the ribs. Other kids would look forward to the free ice cream truck or the softball game - not me. I knew where the real deal was - the barbecue pits. I would stumble over to my mother like a drunken sailor, my belly full of pork goodness and my mouth smeared with barbecue sauce. It was pure utopia.

A few years later, the company was sold and they stopped having the picnics. Not long after that, the rib-maker passed away along with his magic recipe. I was jaded and bitter for a few years after the picnics stopped, and I totally gave up ribs. I turned to a life of pizza and chicken, but deep down in the depths of my belly there was still a distant rumbling, a calling, a need for something more. My stomach wanted the ribs, yo. I finally came to terms with the fact that nothing could replace my first rib love, but I could try to be happy with other ribs, so I started playing the field. It's been lots of fun over the years, but I think today made me realize that I might be ready to commit to a new kind of ribs. Slow charcoal cooked, sweet and luscious ribs. I think I'll take things a little slow just to see how things go. Maybe I'll wait a day to eat them again. I don't want to seem too eager or too slutty. I want the ribs to respect me.

Damn, am I the only one who gets this excited about food? I am? Shit.

_______________________________________

In other randomness, I totally forgot to update about the Billy Gilman plan from last week. Sadly, my voice never came back so I decided not to go. I hate going to karaoke when I have no voice, sometimes it depresses me. I'm still pretty scratchy in the voice department, but I can usually make it through a song and a half. Hopefully my voice will be back more for this weekend, because we're going to try again. There's another karaoke contest at the same place, but this time they just pick ten people randomly from the entrants to compete. This should be quite interesting. I'm going to wear my naughty schoolgirl outfit just in case the random selection isn't a drawing and there are horny older men running the thing. For some reason I'm a big hit with the H.O.M. I don't really understand it, but it happens. Of course, I tend to like younger guys. Always the way. But the prize for the contest is $923, so it doesn't hurt to try anything and everything. Give me a yell in my notes or guestbook if you have any song suggestions for the perfect karaoke song. I want that money, baby. You know what $923 can buy? A whole lotta ribs.

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Jude Law
Does anyone know where I call to hire Gigolo Joe?

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.