I really don�t even know where to begin. I think Sassy summed it up best when I called her yesterday and the first words out of her mouth were, �That really happened, didn�t it?� Yes, yes it did.

Let me backtrack. Shmuel has been wanting to come down to RI to do karaoke for a while, ever since he read my stories about the Chinese restaurant karaoke bar. Saturday his wishes finally came true. Sadly, the Sheriff of Country Music wasn�t there, but we did have a guy who tried to do a Shatner version of Piano Man, but he didn�t even come close to being on key or being like Shatner. The horrifying vocals paired with the torturous length of that song had some at the table writhing in pain. So at least Shmuel had that. And a table full of people who were all vehemently on the "NOT" side of his "Constantine from American Idol, Hot or Not?" debate. ("I can't even look at the TV when he's on." "Ew!" "Oh, he makes me SICK!" "Gross!" Sorry, Shmuel - you're in the minority when you hang with us.) Anyway, what happened after that, however, is still something we are all trying to recover from. Last week we decided that maybe we should make Saturday a night of cheesy songs and Songs You Would Never Normally Sing. Sadly, my voice was on the fritz, so I had to stick mainly to duets. Oh, but Shmuel � Shmuel did it up right. But we�ll get to that.

I think one of the things that made the night even more surreal was the group of people we had with us. Aside from me, Sassy and Shmuel, we also had Lucy, Liz, my brother, Jerry, and 3 random guys that we went to high school with. Lucy, Liz and I hung out with 2 of the guys recently after one of us was spotted on match.com. We all got together one night to catch up, and when we told them about our karaoke adventures, they said they�d like to come to the next event. The 3rd guy that they brought along was someone that we knew in high school, but wasn�t someone that we had classes with or hung out with. In seventh grade, most of the girls had huge crushes on him (me and Lucy included) because he looked like Kirk Cameron. Now? He looks like Dave Coulier. (cue the "Waaah waaah waaah waaaaaah" horns) Somewhere along the way he has also turned from Class President into the Most Boring Man Alive. My friend Kris had warned us about this because she went on a date with him about 7 years ago and he spent the whole night telling her how very interested he was in entomology (the study of bugs) and how much he wanted to make his own wine. Lucy spent Saturday night struggling to keep a conversation going with him for more than three minutes. She kept having to get up and move because she was so bored. He also spent the night high-fiving everyone. I believe I got 3 myself. Lucy and I both immediately thought of David Puddy and had to turn away from each other each time so we wouldn�t lose it. Wow, what was the point of all of this? Oh yes, so we had a very eclectic group there on Saturday night.

Sassy rocked it out with some Monkees and Last Train to Clarksville and then Shmuel got up and sang One Week even FASTER than the Barenaked Ladies. But these were just warm-ups for the main performances. Shmuel really got things going when he went up and sang the theme to Mr. Rogers� Neighborhood. He went up there with his coat on and then took it off, hung it up, and then put a sweater on. It was divine. The woman running the karaoke LOVED it. Then Lucy and I had to pull out our ultimate Make Asses Out of Ourselves Song and sing It�s Raining Men for all of the people there who had never seen us do it before. Then there was my brother. Let me explain something about my brother � most people think he�s shy and quiet. If you get to know him, you�ll find out that he is not. He�s very good with public speaking, but he�s never been one to get up and sing, as he will tell you himself that singing is not his strong point. Well, playing all of that Karaoke Revolution must have boosted his confidence, because he got up and belted out �Baby One More Time, complete with the 2-handed microphone rock stance and crowd-pointing. Lucy was just laying down in the booth, laughing and laughing. After that came�The Performance. I don�t know what else to call it � it was plainly The Performance of the Decade. Shmuel decided to throw caution and inhibition to the wind and break out I Touch Myself. Sassy and I went up and provided backup dancing until it just got to where he didn�t need us anymore. At one point the woman running the karaoke handed him a banana maraca. The whole thing was just so absurdly wonderful that it�s hard to even find the words to describe it. But then the big finish happened. Shmuel started moaning. Then the hands started wandering down his chest until�well, you know. Which led to him falling on his knees and letting out a scream of ecstasy into the microphone. It was at this point that Sassy and I had to abandon our jobs as backup dancers because we were just laughing so hard as we kept saying to each other, �This is so AWESOME!� And now I think I know the real meaning of the phrase �Shock and Awe.� Oh, little Shmuel � who knew you had it in you? And why didn�t I have a video camera with me???

Yes, Sassy � that really happened.

******************

And now, my second favorite story from the weekend. One of my friends (I�ll protect which one) always claims to be �guy retarded� and I believe her actions on Friday night are the epitome of that claim. A few of us went out for drinks on Friday and then afterwards, she went out and met up with a guy that she has been out with a few times recently. She was asking him why he doesn�t really kiss her anymore at the end of the dates, but then realized that she really had to pee and had to hold the conversation for a minute while she went to the bathroom. I don�t know what happened while she was in there, but when she was done, she just tra-la-la-la-la went and got into her car and went home and went to bed. She completely forgot that she was in the middle of a conversation and had this guy waiting for her at the bar. Apparently, he got scared and kept calling her and was sending people into the bathroom looking for her. She was sleeping, so didn�t hear the phone until an hour later. She said he sounded �a little mad,� to which we all responded, �Do you think?� As one of my other friends pointed out, �She is a treasure.� Awesome.

Old School Sneaker Comeback of the Day: They�re selling Tretorns at Zappos.com. Oh my God, did I love my Tretorns back in junior high. They were the sneakers to wear. The best part is that they look exactly the same. Ah, memories�.


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.