Speaking of work, last week I had a vacation day, so I spent some of it visiting my friend Jerry over at the cable company where I used to work. That was my just out-of-college job. I worked in the call center of the cable company, and I was the queen of tech support. It sounded like a good job at the time. My rationalization was, �I like talking on the phone and I love TV. What�s better than talking on the phone all day about TV?� If you�ve ever been a call center customer service rep, you know that my silly method of thinking was pretty much squashed a few weeks into the job. It wasn�t bad at first, though. It was actually pretty fun. I worked with mostly young people, and we had a ball. Then, as always, things changed. The company started growing and taking on a bunch of new things, and the calls just started going through the roof. Customers were angry and screaming all day. Then there was "The List." I hated The List. It was a whole protocol list of things we were supposed to say during the course of a phone call. We would have our calls taped at random times and have a monthly review rating 3 calls. It was ridiculous. I hated The List mostly because I am not a robot. And I was damn good at my job. I was always very nice to the customers, and I fixed most of their problems. When I couldn�t, I just sent someone to their house. Everyone was happy. However, I used to always get scolded for not using the customer�s name twice during a call. I�m sorry, I hate it when people do it to me, so I hardly ever did it to anyone who called me. Pardon me for focusing instead on trying to fix some irate caller�s cable. I knew so many people who worked there who would say all of the proper things on The List, but always screw up accounts and billing and never fix a caller�s problem. Or even try. Gah. But whatever. The job itself doesn�t have a very long shelf life before complete burnout sets in. I worked there for 2 years before I quit. I don�t know too many people who have lasted much longer without quitting, or more often that not, getting fired. Well, except for Tom.

Oh Lord, Tom. He was one of the main reasons that I stopped by last week. Tom has been working in the call center for 19 years. That�s just insane. He�s probably in his late 50�s, and he is the epitome of an aging lounge lizard. He�s also the only person in the call center to wear suits to work every day. We were all doing the jeans thing. But not Tom, for he is slick. And of course, Jerry was the one to introduce me to Tom. He�s balding on top, and the rest of his head is covered with this scraggly gray and black hair. He�s also got a beard and wears more jewelry than anyone I�ve ever seen in my life. One of his favorite things to do in life is go to a local restaurant for the Monday night meatloaf special. Oh, and he sings. This is how I met him. Jerry brought little unsuspecting me over to have Tom �sing� for me. There we are, in the middle of the call center, and this man I�ve never met just starts singing this Nick-the-lounge-singer song about me being Betty Grable and Dorothy Lamour. It was very surreal. Oh, and did I mention that Tom has a foot fetish? Yes, he does. Also? Ew. I guess before he settled into his life at the cable company, he used to sell women�s shoes. One day I was wearing a skirt and happened to be passing by Tom�s desk. He excitedly called me over and starting going on and on about my shoes and my beautiful feet. Then he asked if he could paint my toenails. It was funny, but also completely creepy because he was serious. He also wanted to buy me a �nice pair of heels.� I politely declined on both counts. A few weeks later I went to a wedding with Jerry where we had fun with the disposable camera that was on our table. We took pictures of the toilets, the urinals, large people bending over, etc. You know, all the stuff you forget to take pictures of at a wedding but wish you had. We�re always willing to help like that. Anyway, one of the pictures that I took happened to be of my feet, and Jerry scored a copy of it and anonymously left it on Tom�s desk. I don�t know how, but he figured out it was from us, and after that day, Tom declared me to be his queen. Whenever he called me on the help line, he would just start repeating, "Pah-mela, Pah-mela, My Queen!� when I answered. A few days after he got the picture, Jerry and I were passing by his desk and noticed that he had a photocopy of it there instead. Tom then told us that he had the real picture hanging on his bedroom door at home, and whenever he had a woman over who questioned him about it, he would tell her to watch it, because those were his queen�s feet.

Man, I find them all, don�t I?

Anyhoo, Jerry has been telling me for about a year now that Tom is looking mighty scary these days, so I had to go see for myself. I hadn�t seen Tom in over 3 years, so I was curious. When we showed up at his desk, he was over the moon. He also now looks like an apostle. His hair is even longer and scragglier in the back, and his beard is happening full force. He also had the largest silver chain I have ever seen in my life around his neck, complete with this Indian-head ornament on it that was bigger than my head. I swear he uses that chain to put on his tires in the snow. It was out of control. Anyway, Tom started telling us all about how the office is no fun anymore and he�s just trying to get by and bring some joy into his customer�s lives. Then he started singing. Loudly. He broke out the Betty Grable song, but then switched over to some disco. He then started bowing to me, telling me I will always be his queen. Luckily, his phone started ringing right after that, so Jerry and I made a hasty exit. We headed around the corner and just started laughing our heads off. It was actually nice to see Tom again. I miss having people like that around. It makes work so much more bearable. I don�t think I could ever work at the cable company now � it looked completely lifeless. They�re stifling poor Tom! Bastards! People must know about Tom!!! As Jerry and I were leaving and walking through another department, a woman I knew from there stopped us and told us she could hear Tom singing from the other side of the room. She�s surrounded by all newbies, and she said everyone around her just started looking around, all puzzled, asking, �What the HELL is that?� That, my friends, is Tom. He�s a legend. And he wants to paint your toenails and buy you shoes.

Co-Worker Fashion Faux Pas of the Day: I�m not sure, but judging by today�s ensemble, I think The Dunce may be part of a Rhythm Nation.

Comments? Sign the book.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.