I had the pleasure of having my last two wisdom teeth removed last week and my experience, though not that bad, has confirmed what I have thought all along. Out. To. Get. Me. My dentist must have gotten to my oral surgeon somehow. I never knew my dentist was so diabolical, what with his too-short pants and sleeves. But he is proving to be a worthy adversary. And to him, I say this: Well played.

Anyway, it all began after my arrival at the appointment. Now let me just point out here, as some of you may already know � I am not a wuss when it comes to most medical procedures. I�ve been through enough that hardly anything fazes me anymore. I have a great love for the joy that is anesthesia, so I don�t get nervous at all when I�m having anything done that requires it. Last week was no different. I was not the least bit concerned or nervous at all, yet when the nurse brought me in to the room, she insisted on giving me some nitrous oxide gas to �help [me] relax.� I didn�t need to be relaxed. I know, most people have thought me crazy about not wanting the gas. But I really didn�t. It�s been years since I had that stuff, and I never remember it being like that. I think the woman didn�t even look and cranked the dial to eleven, because one minute I was just sitting there, minding my own business, and the next thing I know she�s got the mask strapped to my face and she�s doi�up, up and away, in my beautiful balloon�. Sorry, sorry, I forget what happened after that for a little while. Oh yes, I remember now � I freaked the HELL out. I only have pleasant memories from my past dalliances with the nitrous oxide, but not this time. I don�t know what was going on, but it was no good. And of course, being under the influence a bit, I didn�t have much might to say anything. Floaty Pam is much more forceful than Rational Pam in such instances. Finally, I had decided to speak up and try to tell the woman that it was�up, up and away, in my beautiful balloon�. Sorry again. Flashbacks. Let me just say that I found out later that the way things normally happen in the office is that patients are supposed to get the gas about two or three minutes before the procedure is supposed to start. How long did I get it for? TWENTY MINUTES. It was insanity. Right before the dentist came in, I heard him giving the nurse an order to start me on the gas, to which she sheepishly replied that she already had, so now I�m thinking that maybe she�s in cahoots with my dentist. Ah, it doesn�t matter who it is � they all are. What, me paranoid? Twenty minutes!!!!

Oh, but the fun doesn�t end there. Oh no. In terms of the whole tooth pulling thing, everything went well. I wasn�t in a lot of pain and seemed to be doing just dandy. Only one side of my face swelled up Godfather-style two days later, but aside from that everything seemed fine. Well, that is, until I got a look in the mirror today. The swelling is almost gone, but upon closer inspection I noticed a bruise the size of a plum on the side of my face. And it�s not even your run-of the mill bruise. Oh no, that would have been too obvious and too easy. It would have been the cheap way out. But not these dentists, they�re good. Yes, I am now the proud owner of a plum-sized bruise on my cheek that is that nasty yellow and green bruise color. And you know what that is quite the opposite of? The Sexy. Also? Impervious to my makeup. Why do dentists hate me? Why do they enjoy punching me in the face? What did I ever do to them? Don�t they know that I have a full weekend coming up, complete with Operation Make Out With a College Boy night and a David Sedaris show? Granted, the bruise really won�t affect the Sedaris, but Operation Make Out With a College Boy night? That�s Friday. Gah! This had better be gone by then, or that club had better be extremely dark. Hit up the comments if you have any remedies for me. In the meantime, I shall be plotting my response to the dentist, as he has waged war. He�d better be ready�.

Celebrity Boyfriend of the Day: Josh Duhamel
It's been a while since I've done one of these, and I thought La Duhamel was a nice way to come back. Viva la hottie. I seriously want his GAP window ads installed in my house. Yummy.


before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.