I mean, really, what more is there to say?

Actually, I've got something: total letdown. Colossal, my ass! (No pun intended) I expected this gigantic thing that was as tall as me. Oh, no. No, no, no.

Pfft! I also expected no one to be there. Wrong again. The thing was jumping! What the hell? The volunteers were grabbing everyone who came by with a, "Want to crawl through the colon?" Yes, CRAWL through it. I did not. Jerry and I opted for the walk around it where you could look into little holes in the top and see the inside as it looks when it has various ailments, such as Crohn's disease or polyps. Yay! Fun for the whole family!! But that was the strange thing - there were tons of people going in and out and most of them were actually crawling through the thing. 17 year-old boys were doing it. The elderly. Families. EVERYONE. You had to put little paper booties over your shoes before you went in, but there was a steady flow of people going in and out. In the middle of a mall. Crawling through a giant plastic colon. Looking at what polyps look like. In the middle of a mall. Again, the hell??? My mind is sufficiently boggled. Once again, I can see why I would think it amusing with my colorful colon history, but teenage boys? In paper booties? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MALL??? If this thing comes to your town, please visit it and tell me if it has the same strange draw of the crowds. I still was expecting something much more exciting and more...colossal. Pfft! Call me when there's an 80 foot colon in town.

However, before you think my trip to The Colossal Colon was a total bust, let me tell you about the goodie bags. Oh, yes. If you do the walk-around or crawl-through, you'll be asked if you'd like to answer a few quick questions. If you do, you'll get a goodie bag. And what does the goodie bag contain? Well, a vinyl lunch bag with a picture of The Colossal Colon on it, a pencil, some brochures (no pictures of sad and concerned (and possibly constipated)birds or cats, dammit!) and a hot compress. Oh yes, and it also contains something else: THE GREATEST ADVERTISING CREATION OF ALL TIME. Jerry and I were having dinner when I decided to rummage through my goodie bag and that's when I discovered him. Then I laughed for about ten minutes. People, I give you EneMan:

Seriously, look at that. In the words of Adam Sandler, "Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?" Who in the...what the...why would...EneMan???!!?? I would have paid to been a guest at the brainstorming session for this thing.

"Let's do something for the holidays."

"How about an enema-shaped stocking?"

"Nah, too easy and too expensive."

"How about making an enema character?"

"Like a cartoon?"

"A superhero enema!"

"By George, you're onto something!"

"He can wear a cape with the Fleet logo on it and we can call him...Eneman! We'll put a Santa hat on him and make him into a Christmas ornament! What's says 'Merry Christmas' more than that?"

"You're a genius. I'm giving you a raise."

EneMan. God help us all. Also? I'm hanging him on my wall year-round. He's AWESOME.

before & after





2007-09-26 - Follow Me!
2006-09-30 - Site Move & Favorite Entries
2006-09-25 - Evil Easter Bunnies & Rock Climbing!
2006-09-22 - Shameful-Purchase Hiding & A New Dentist Plan
2006-09-19 - Birthday Picture/Video Diary & The Wheelmobile





Copyright 2003-2006 by Sockgirlie. Stealing is wrong.